Got my hands on this bad boy. I enjoyed the cheese factor of the original but hey I'm a Boll fan. With that being said Mr. Boll is only a producer of this title and it shows.
Any sign of awesomeness from knowing the hero from the games is in this movie should be thrown out the window because now he is Asian!!!! Okay, fine... Maybe it isn't that big of a deal.
An ancient key, a dream serer and other crap floods what one might call a plot but it's nothing. Nothing happens in the movie and it has nowhere to go but down.
Add to the fact that not only is the script god awful but the acting makes it some how worse. Thankfully the film does have some mild atmosphere and the special effects are okay but everything else is some of the worst I've ever seen. Avoid this film when it's finally released.
entertainment value - 0/5
Movie - .5 / 5
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Bangkok Dangerous
This is a remake of the Asian film by the same name. The Pang brothers are awesome. I love their Eye trilogy and while I didn't see the original of this film, I did enjoy The Messengers which was their first American film.
This film is about a hitman who goes to somewhere in Asia and falls for a girl, screws up his job blah blah blah. Nick Cage does a piss poor job, as his norm lately, and the movie as a whole feels like one of the most shallow experiences this year.
I really have nothing good to say of the film, and while it isn't the worst film this year, this fall or ever made it just doesn't need to exist as it does nothing but take up space.
It's a shame too that the Pang bros. just can't strike gold here in the states but really, they should stick to what they do best over there which is make good movies and not fall into the Hollywood trap.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
This film is about a hitman who goes to somewhere in Asia and falls for a girl, screws up his job blah blah blah. Nick Cage does a piss poor job, as his norm lately, and the movie as a whole feels like one of the most shallow experiences this year.
I really have nothing good to say of the film, and while it isn't the worst film this year, this fall or ever made it just doesn't need to exist as it does nothing but take up space.
It's a shame too that the Pang bros. just can't strike gold here in the states but really, they should stick to what they do best over there which is make good movies and not fall into the Hollywood trap.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
Friday, September 5, 2008
College
This film was suppose to come out in April. Well, that was dumb so they moved it to when college goes back in. Smart move! Too bad the main star is a teen star and it's a R rated film. The target audience is lost and that is why the film flopped.
I'll admit I laughed a few times and maybe it is the best comedy in the past few months but it still isn't very good.
The only amusing part was the glow in the dark poke party but then that makes me wonder why every R comedy must have such a scene. Otherwise we have lots of boobies and we know teen boys love those...
Except this is rated R so besides 5 or so f-bombs and some boobs we get a vehicle for a DOA actor who should just give up. Maybe two flops in 4 months will ruin him.. I can only hope...
I can't recommend this film to anyone. In the past 5 years we have gotten a slew of college films and most are pretty bad, this is yet another and it feels even less inspired than most. Hell, I'd rather rewatch College Road Trip than this...
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
I'll admit I laughed a few times and maybe it is the best comedy in the past few months but it still isn't very good.
The only amusing part was the glow in the dark poke party but then that makes me wonder why every R comedy must have such a scene. Otherwise we have lots of boobies and we know teen boys love those...
Except this is rated R so besides 5 or so f-bombs and some boobs we get a vehicle for a DOA actor who should just give up. Maybe two flops in 4 months will ruin him.. I can only hope...
I can't recommend this film to anyone. In the past 5 years we have gotten a slew of college films and most are pretty bad, this is yet another and it feels even less inspired than most. Hell, I'd rather rewatch College Road Trip than this...
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
I really enjoyed the original pants film. I liked it enough to go out and buy the four books and loved each for what they were.
I never thought we would get a sequel as the original film flopped and then I was distressed when I heard they were combining three books into one film.
It's actually hit or miss, more miss than I would really prefer but it works well enough. Some sub-plots are dropped or changed. Some happen and end so quickly I had no clue what was happening and due to this the entire final act of the film feels out of place.
Even the acting seems a bit off. i know these girls are good 9see the first film) but they just aren't into it at all. Besides America and the blond chick the rest of the cast is dead right now and blond chick is terrible this time around. Not only that but America walks through her role, the acting in the play is painful and unreal, so much so i couldn't help but question how she even won the role as she comes off as hammy.
I can't say I really enjoyed the film. It's okay for what it is but it loses the heart of the novels and it loses what the original film had going on.
Entertainment Value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2.5 /5
I never thought we would get a sequel as the original film flopped and then I was distressed when I heard they were combining three books into one film.
It's actually hit or miss, more miss than I would really prefer but it works well enough. Some sub-plots are dropped or changed. Some happen and end so quickly I had no clue what was happening and due to this the entire final act of the film feels out of place.
Even the acting seems a bit off. i know these girls are good 9see the first film) but they just aren't into it at all. Besides America and the blond chick the rest of the cast is dead right now and blond chick is terrible this time around. Not only that but America walks through her role, the acting in the play is painful and unreal, so much so i couldn't help but question how she even won the role as she comes off as hammy.
I can't say I really enjoyed the film. It's okay for what it is but it loses the heart of the novels and it loses what the original film had going on.
Entertainment Value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Disaster Movie
I sit here trying to watch this film but it some how it's not watchable... It's actually painful and I think for every second it plays a small kitten is swollwed by a rabid monkey.
There is not a single funny moment, not a single redeeming factor to this film. If you thought that one movie was funny from the start of the year (was it Epic Movie? I can't remember).
Either way avoid this shit. it has funny jokes and god aweful musical numbers. The jokes come out of nowhere and just don't work.
Entertainment Value - 0/5
Movie - 0/5
There is not a single funny moment, not a single redeeming factor to this film. If you thought that one movie was funny from the start of the year (was it Epic Movie? I can't remember).
Either way avoid this shit. it has funny jokes and god aweful musical numbers. The jokes come out of nowhere and just don't work.
Entertainment Value - 0/5
Movie - 0/5
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Babylon A. D .
What can a person say about this film? It flopped in the theaters, it's one of the worst reviewed films of the year and the director announced that it was a steaming pile shit days before it came out.
Is it good? No... Worst movie of the year? It's pretty close but I did miss Kit Kittridge thus far so you never know...
Either way the film starts off mildly inetresting and then the entire cast doesn't give a damn, throws acting out of the window. The visuals start off good as well and then go down hill.
It's as if the film was heading towards something cool but went all Battlefield Earth on us, maybe everyone stopped caring after a little while. Either way I can't envision why this hit the theater and didn't go straight to the sci-fi channel.
Please avoid this film in all formats so we can stop getting utter crap. The fact that anyone went and saw it is sad so please tell Hollywood it's not okay to release crap when they know it is crap.
entertainment value - .5 / 5
movie - .5 / 5
Is it good? No... Worst movie of the year? It's pretty close but I did miss Kit Kittridge thus far so you never know...
Either way the film starts off mildly inetresting and then the entire cast doesn't give a damn, throws acting out of the window. The visuals start off good as well and then go down hill.
It's as if the film was heading towards something cool but went all Battlefield Earth on us, maybe everyone stopped caring after a little while. Either way I can't envision why this hit the theater and didn't go straight to the sci-fi channel.
Please avoid this film in all formats so we can stop getting utter crap. The fact that anyone went and saw it is sad so please tell Hollywood it's not okay to release crap when they know it is crap.
entertainment value - .5 / 5
movie - .5 / 5
Monday, September 1, 2008
September Release Dates
Last month was very shitty. This month starts off with a decent amount of films I want to see and actually it feels very crowded. Also, the end of the month looks like utter ass and the best films seem to be limited release. I hope to bring you some of those when I head into NYC to see Katie Holmes and Patrick Wilson in some play so lets hope I do! Oh and in a review last month I asked about the next Tyler Perry film and wow, it's this month and it looks like god hates me for it...
5th - Bangkok Dangerous
12th - The Women
12th - Burn After Reading
12th - The Family that Preys
12th - Righteous Kill
19th - Lakeview Terrace
19th - My Best Friend's Girl
19th - Igor
19th - Ghost Town
26th - Miracle at St. Anna
26th - Eagle Eye
26th - Nights in Rodanthe
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