Midnight Meat Train

I couldn't wait for this movie. i have a soft spot for Clive Barker and it looked pretty bloody. Well, it never left NY/LA so I didn't get the chance and you know what, that's okay because it's a hit or a miss really.

The film has blood and gore going for it but the problem is that the film feels like a rehash on itself and the ending, while grusome felt a bit too predictable, as if I'd seen it all before.

I would only recommend this to the die hard horror fans out there. otherwise I'd pass ebcause it really isn't anything special. The gore is good though.

Entertainment Value - 2.5 /5

Movie - 2/5

Beverly Hills Chihuahua

The original trailer made this look like a romantic dog comedy musical. Instead it's a ho-hum lady and the tramp story we have seen a hundred times. It's a mediocre effort all around and it's kind of sad that it opened at number one ebcause yes, American's are dumb enough to pay to see this recycled poo.

Oh well, kids should enjoy it and I guess there have been some worse films this year. it doesn't exactly have any redeeming values but it doesn't exactly offend my soul so I'll let this one slide through. Not recommended in either direction. Just meh...

Entertainment value - 2/5

Movie - 2/5

Choke

From the writer of Fight Club we get Choke. It's about a man who is a sex addict, he chokes on food to get money from people and works as a guide at a historical area to pay for his demented mothers care at a facility.

It's the typical thing you'd expect from Chuck and it really does work. The trailers had me worried but after sitting down to this a lot of the novel came back to me and it stays fairly close to the source material.

While it isn't for everyone this low budget film is highly entertaining and amusing. The audience seemed to enjoy it and the twists and turns are both shocking and hysterical all at the same time.

Entertainment Value - 3/5

Movie - 3.5/5

Fireproof

I want to thank the makers of this film because if it wasn't for this film I wouldn't have found Jesus. Yes, it's only be out a week but ti made me realize the importance of having Christ as my one and only savior.

If you haven't seen this film then you are already a sinner and will be banished to the pits of hell where you belong. The film is about a married couple. The wife wants to leave him (he's the dude from family ties or growing pains or something). And he turns to christ to help him find his way and win his woman back. Such a beautiful and touching story.
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If you believed that load of shit then you should die. This film is horrid,shoves Christ down your throat and wants you to take it like a god damn porn star. The writing is trite and riddled with cliches. The audience I saw this with loved it, laughed at the lameass jokes and were pleased when he was saved by Christ.

So FUCK YOU JESUS FREAKS. Crap like this needs to stay out of the theaters, I have no problems with religious films but these holy roller ones suck ass. Keep it at your church meetings.

entertainment value - 0/5

movie - 0/5

Igor

Back in the Spring I was at the NEw York comic con. They had flyers for this film all over. I had never heard of it and then never heard of it again until it actually hit theaters.

It's not a very good film. It's not funny, it reminds me of a fake Nightmare Before Christmas. There is even a character that looks almost spot on as the Mayor...

The animation is subpar, the singing annoying and the ploy of clcihes is more annoying than smart. Adults may find the suicidal bunny a bit too morbid as well but whatever, either way it's a meh film all around.

entertainment value - 1/5

movie - 1/5

October Release Dates

Well, the month of horror is here and well... I haven't even looked at the list so let's jump in, I bet it sucks anyway...

Actually, god damn wtf is with the 3rd O_o

3rd - Beverly Hills Chihuahua
3rd - Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
3rd - Blindness
3rd - how to lose friends and alienate people
3rd - Flash of Genius
10th - Quarantine
10th - body of lies
10th - city of ember
17th - w.
17th - sex drive
17th - max payne
17th - secret life of bees
24th - high school musical 3 (OMG YAYZ)
24th - saw 5
24th - pride and glory
31st - The Haunting of Molly Hartley
31st - Zack and Miri Make a Porno


So, besides a few films at the end of the month and Blindness it appears to eba very crowded and crappy month. Yay...

The Rocker

OMG... I never thought I'd see this (well this and Kitt Kittridge but that's hitting dvd soon yay..). Anyway, I had a few chances to see this one in the theater and I passed on it ever time ebcause it looked terrible.

And it indeed is bad. not worst film ever but it's not very good. The only thing I found amusing was the way they get discovered on youtube, which is even funnier because the video would have been deleted for adult content but whatever I guess...

Still, Raine Wilson isn't funny in this and judging by Juno and the Office he's only good when fed awesome lines which is a shame. Another amusing this is the band in the begining, the lead singer, I swear he looked like Ashton Kutcher but it sin't O_o

Anyway, skip this one. Not even worth a dvd rental. Now odner it was out of the theater in 2 weeks.

Entertainment Value - 1/5

Movie - 1/5