Twilight

I've read the entire Twilight quadrilogy. So I think I can give this film a fair assessment. With that being said I wouldn't call it a bad adaptation.

What it really does is show that the first novel (and the rest as well) have very little substance to it. The 2 hours fly by but nothing happens.

It's a vampire story about abstinence and it's really kind of pointless. Bella is a major skank virgin, she wants some vampire cock but he doesn't want to give it up.

The film works well enough and is one of the better vampire films yet lacks any real vampire action outside the finale.

The special effects are also kind of sad. A scene in the novel is where Edward shows Bella why he can't be out in sunshine. it seriously looks like they put glitter on his chest and in no way makes him super sparkle, like the novel suggests. Hell, if I say him in the daylight I'd think he was a gay dance queen.

Some of the other makeup is bad as well. Edward's "father" looks laughable. He's an uber pasty guy and looks way to odd. The theater even burst into laughter when he appeared for the first time.

Fans will love this movie but frankly, it has no real plot, no substance and if you're looking for the next harry Potter (which this film bumped into the summer) then you better not hold your breath.

Entertainment Value - 2/5

Movie - 2/5