Diary of the Dead (Bonus Review)

Romero is a god to so many fanboys it is amazing that Diary of the Dead didn't get a wider release. having hit a measly 54 theaters in North America it's easy to see why so few got to see the film.

I finally saw the film after hunting for months but let me say this, I thought Land of the Dead was horrid so this title could have been hit or miss for me. Thankfully it's a hit for me but it isn't without its flaws.

Some student film makers are out making their own horror film when they hear news of the zombie epidemic. The film seems to take place in or around North East PA (which is where I live oddly enough) and it's done in a Blair Witch style but way too professional.

It's weird but in sequence this film doesn't make any sense. While the other movies could all be kind of tied together this films present day timing kind of loses all possible connections with the original trilogy.

That's okay though because the plot doesn't matter. We are told to like these more human characters but at times their dialog is delivered in stiff doses and most aren't likeable.

Where Cloverfield was able to make you care about it's main cast I had no real connection with these guys trying to survive. But don't take this all the wrong way because it's a highly entertaining film and it is worth checking out, it just has some flaws and when a film comes from the master creator of a genre then you tend to expect more.

One final problem is the special effects. They rock most of the time but there are a few bare chested men shots that look horribly fake and when shot into looks even faker, which ruins the feel of this all being real.

Entertainment Value - 4/5

Movie - 3 1/2 / 5

Drillbit Taylor

This is the newest movie produced by the guy who broguht us Knocked Up, 40 Year Old Virgin and Super Bad. It's a shame that it's no where as good as those. It reminds me of his last film, Walk Hard which wasn't all that good either.

I can't really pinpoint where it goes down hill as the story could almost work. 3 kids get bullied and decide to hire a bodyguard. He just isn't who he says he is, plus in reality he can't do anything to the bullies because they are minors.

The film has a tiny bit of heart to it but it kind of ruins the few funny scenes in the film. Unlike Knocked Up the laughs are few and the heart isn't with the film the entire time. Granted, I laughed a few times but are bad lines really countable as funny parts?

I can't recommend this film for any sort of view. With that being said it is one of the ugh funnier films this year as it's one of the few I actually laughed during. However, that means nothing and it just isn't worth your time to view it.

Entertainment Value - 1.5 /5

Movie - * 1/2 / 5

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day

I believe Miss Pettigrew is the only film this year that I had a hard time getting to see. I couldn't access it by my normal means or convince anyone to hit the theater for it. Thankfully I did before it leaves this week.

This is a total chick flick. Most guys won't like it. However, I found it very enjoyable and it's easily one of the top 5 films so far this year but I guess that isn't saying a whole lot.

The acting is top notch and Amy Adams bears a little skin and remains overly cheery and fun. The entire cast does a fantastic job and the film just flew by.

Miss Pettigrew is a woman down on her luck. She ends up stealing a job of sorts but instead of being a nanny she becomes a young slutty socialites secretary of sorts. The entire film takes place in one day and it's believe and just fun.

I don't know what else to say. Just one of those feel good movies that actually is good. It's a very rare thing for me to be recommending any films this year so go support these smaller films because they seem to be the only thing worth seeing any more.

Entertainment Value - 4/5

Movie - 4 1/2 / 5

Meet the Browns

Meet the Browns is this years new Tyler Perry movie. I liked his first two films. His third and forth were okay at best but this is by far his worst movie yet.

A woman's father dies so she heads down south to see him and meets her family, the Browns. Some stuff happens, some man wants some nookie and well, that's about it.

It follows the typical plot line of so many other films but it also isn't very funny and is much more a serious film, that also likes to throw some religion at you.

I say pass on this film. It's not worth the time and it's Perry's worst film to date. I really can't bring myself to say anything else about this mediocrity.

Entertainment Value - .5 / 5

Movie - */ 5

Shutter

I actually saw Shutter yesterday. It was a huge personal debate because it was Good Friday and with no school and this being a PG-13 horror flick I figured it would be swamped with the devil spawn. However they were busy driving like fucking idiots so I figured it would be safer for me to see the film than be on the road.

This is also one of the few times where I haven't seen the original before the remake and while I still want to see the original, I won't go out of my way to do so.

The film started innocent enough. Couple gets married, move to Japan where the wife claims they hit someone but no body can be found. They start seeing images and shapes in their pictures. This girl is haunting them.

I won't go on as I don't want to spoil anything but let me tell you, if you've seen the trailer you know more of the plot than I just told you. And as the theme of the year continues the big final twist is revealed in the trailer so YAY....

The cast kind of shuffles their way through this mess of a film. I'm not sure what they were going for either. The scares are to few but are good when they do happen. The plot has no substance and then tries to deliver a message with it's ending.

Actually, the ending left me feeling ill to my stomach as it went somewhere it didn't need to go and it makes you hate some stuffs and just ruined the 80 minutes before itself. You may twist but not twist and make you hate everything you've just seen.

While not as bad as Pulse it 's very close to that suckage. I recommend to avoid this film and if you ened a fix of Joshua Jackson go rent Urban Legend.

Entertainment Value - 1/5

Movie - 1/2 /5

Never Back Down

I can't sit here and lie to you. Something about this film entertained me. Maybe it's because it has some sort of heart hidden away behind the pop culture music and other silly teen related crap.

Sure the plot is unoriginal. A kid moves to a new town, someone beats the shit out of him and then he decides it's time to fight back but perhaps honor takes more of a front seat for the grand finale which was kind of nice I guess.

Imagine if Fight Club and Karate Kid had a baby and you woul get this film. It isn't exactly offense as say The Covenant with it's crap but it isn't very good either. It borders the fine line of cheese and frankly I was entertained. However I can't recommend this because really, it isn't all that good and the fighting while decent isn't enough to hold this together than some cheese...

Entertainment Value - 3.5/5

Movie - **/ 5

Horton Hears a Who

I've never read the original book this animated film was based on but really, I'm sure a lot has been changed anyway to fill the 90 minutes.

What I'm about to say may shock some of the readers on this blog but this is by far the best movie of 2008 thus far. It's family friendly which is always a plus but it contains more laughs than every comedy released so far this year.

The cast is filled with big names. Jim Carrey, Steve Carrel and they bring life to each of their characters. The dialog is witty and funny and the one liners just seem to keep rolling in this film.

Horton the elephant finds a little flower and on it is a colony of ltitle people. So he must save these and convince his animal friends that he isn't insane. That's a very brief outline of the plot but there is more to it, and all of it has a very human feel to it.

This is also a stunner to look at and the visuals are bright and colorful and nicely animated. Riveling anything Pixar has made lately. I'd go as far to say this was better than any Pixar film since Finding Nemo.

Entertainment Value - 4.5/6

Movie - **** 1/2 / 5

Doomsday

Any horror fan has to become a little excited when the man behind The Descent has a new film coming out. Previews made it out to be a cross between Mad Max and 28 Days later.

A epidemic has spread throughout Scotland and caused many people to die. It has now been quarantined and years have passed. Now a group of people have been hired to enter this banished region and try and find a cure. '

The plot really isn't all that important and it borrows for few common concepts from a few recent films but I won't name which as to not ruin anything.

The cast does a fine job you being either likable of bat shit crazy. The problem comes from the film not knowing what it's suppose to be. The beginning sets itself up as 28 Weeks later but the middle reminded me a little of Apocalypto and then the finale was very mad max inspired and while if each was taken as a single film it would have worked better than mixing them all together.

But none of that should matter because by the end of the movie I felt like I got my entertainment and money value from the film. It was highly enjoyable in a balls to the wall actionfest. Set your brain aside and enjoy the ride because it's the most fun I've had with a film since Cloverfield and it's been a long sad year thus far, best to enjoy the few good films as they come out.

Entertainment Value - 4/5

Movie - ****/ 5

In Bruges (Limited Release Review)

In Bruge hit theaters a few weeks back as a limited release, which seems to be common as of late. It actually had some rather good reviews to boot so I sit here and ponder why these films get limited releases and I keep getting shit like College Road Trip?

Two men decide to hide out in Bruge. I really don't want to ruin anything so I'll say it also involves midgets and hitmen...

It's a dark comedy that is laugh out loud funny and the dialog is very witty. I haven't laughed this hard in a comedy all years.

The cast is good as well as we have my most hated actor (Collin Farrel) and the powerhouse known as Ralph Fiennes (whom I've met and he does indeed kick ass in person).

Fans of the black comedy genre (Death at A Funeral, Fargo, ect.) should try and find this playing at a theater enar them. Hopefully it comes to video soon because it's a shame that this film didn't get a full release.

Entertainment Value - 4/5

Movie - ****/ 5

Bonneville (Limited Release Review)

It's funny that Bonneville got a limited release. It's one of those films that got good critical praise and has cast to drag every woman and older person right to the theater.

Well I finally got my hands on a copy which is still playing in a few select theaters and it seems to have no hope of actually getting a major theatrical release.

It's decent enough film though. Think Thelma and Louise without the depressing bits. It actually has a lot in common with that film, even a male hitchhiker.

Basically a woman's husband dies so they decide to take a trip before the funeral to remember him and themselves.

The cast really brings the film to life in a girls just want to have fun style but for just older women. And for the first time in years this is the first time seeing Kathy Bates that I didn't think of About Schmidt.

I wouldn't call it a masterpiece or one to really hunt down but it was worth the viewing once and as I said before older film fans and woman will get the most out of this chick flick.

Entertainment Value - 2.5 / 5

Movie - *** / 5

April Fools Day (ADVANCE DVD REVIEW)

I'm a fan of the classic 1980's slasher film " April Fools Day". Which revolved around a group of friends who go to an island and they start to die one by one. Just a fun film with a classic ending.

When I heard it was being remade I was ecstatic. It was due to hit theaters and be awesome. Then it suddenly went straight to video instead and the cover art was hideous. I didn't let it bring me down though.

Then I got my hands on a screener... Oh my god.... They have raped my childhood and now no one will ever see the original due to this shitty remake. It starts off at a débutante's ball. Someone has an accident that may or may not have been caused by them being drugged. So one year later a package comes and it has a letter that everyone will die by the end of the day if the person responsible doesn't come forward.

Then we sit around for a good half hour with nothing happening and then people die in crappy ways with no blood. It just sucks ass and then the triple twist ending happens and it becomes the biggest piece of shit I've seen in years.

With a director duo who calls themselves the butcher brothers you can only pray they are never allowed near another film. Don't even get me started on the worst acting this side of a porno. Actually, I've seen porno with livelier performances than this shit-fest. Not a single thing is good about this film.

Entertainment Value - 0/5

Movie - 0/5 (against my rules but it actually sucks that hardcore)

Run, Fat Boy, Run (ADVANCE REVIEW)

Run, fat Boy, Run is yet another rom com but this one has a secret. It's trailers show it as a spoof of sorts (since Simon Pegg is known for Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, both of which being spoofs). However it's a generic rom com.

A man leaves his bride on their wedding day only to realize years later that he still loves her so he takes his slightly un-sexy body and tries to get it in shape for a marathon. The film runs into a few problems along the way though.

It isn't interesting. The jokes often fall flat and Pegg just has nothing to work with here and trust me, he's been great in everything but this so that just shows how poor the source material is.

The cast is decent enough as we also got hank Azaria and Thadia Newton whom I detest immensely but whatever. They all do their best with what they are given. You just know a film is going to blow when I saw this a year ago when I was on vacation and the bitter taste is still left in my mouth.

Entertainment Value - 1 1/2 / 5

Movie - * / 5

The Accidental Husband (ADVANCE REVIEW)

The Accidental Husband was a film I saw a preview for when I saw P.S. I Love You. It looked cute and funny and it stars the other Irish dude from P.S. I love You.

This has been a year of shite comedies and the rom com genre has been D.O.A. all year. Thankfully this film gives me hope for what the year can possibly hold for me. See, it's March 12th and this film isn't due to hit theaters until August so this is a very advance review.

Our heroin is a talk show host on the radio who gives love advice. She's engaged to a lovely British man (Colin Firth) but when she gives a jittered bride some advice that causes her to cancel the wedding, her ex-groom decided to get revenge on this talk show host. He has a friend hack into the court system and make him and the host married. So when she goes to get her own wedding license and stuff she is told that she is already married. Hi-jinks ensue but it's a pretty good rom com that stays away from the painful cliches.

It offers some funny bits, it has heart and the performances are solid. Uma Thurman does a great job and looks good. The guys should keep your lady friends entertained as well and the plot is semi-believable when compared to most other rom coms. I give this one a high recommendation and it's easily one of the years best films so far but frankly that isn't saying much.

Entertainment Value - 3/5

Movie - *** 1/2 /5

College Road Trip

College Road Trip is a new comedy from Disney. As one can tell if they have read my reviews of the year so far that comedies have sucked a big one. They just haven't been funny and the ones geared towards African Americans have been some of the worst offenders, that and fart jokes.

Well, our little star of the hit tv show raven wants to go to college away from her police father so they embark on a road trip to see the college. Alone the way we meet the typical white folk who are so ZANY to the max. Played by that annoying Osmand guy.

Things only went downhill from there as Osmand and his movie daughter sing us annoying songs. But wait, what could be worse? Well, imagine our family getting on a bus with Japanese tourists who do karaoke! Oh it can only get better as ex-Raven's father wants her to remember their favorite song so she gets up in her slinky outfit and does a stiring rendition with the Japanese singing the chorus and her strutting her stuff down the middle aisle as if it was a cat walk.

One can only imagine how shit like this gets passed through the okay to release meter but then again the kids in the theater with me were hooting so perhaps if you're under the age of ten then you may enjoy this film. Parents should await the horrors as their children drag them to this crap. I say pass on all accounts either way, rent your kids the crappy Bee Movie, it won't kill any brain cells at least.

Entertainment Value - 1/5

Movie - * 1/2 / 5

10,000 BC

Ah, 10,000 BC. From the mind behind ID4. Well let me be frank with y'all and say I hated ID4. I thought it sucked. I saw it way back when on opening night and it was one of the worst movies I ever saw in the theater (back then, now it's like an Oscar film compared to this years crop of crap).

Anyway, the trailer looked cool. Wholly Mammoths, Saber tooth tiger and what not. Then I heard there was a plot...

His woman is taken by a warring tribe so you go across the icey lands to rescue her... Wow... Have we come this far really?

To add insult to it all everyone is so under developed that I couldn't give two shits when someone died. Actually if they had died in cool ways I would have at least remembered them.

Instead we get 3 awesome scenes in the first thirty minutes and then we must suffer for another hour with nothing worth while happening.

Why offer the Mammoth stampede, ST attack and giant ostrich attack in the first half hour and have nothing else to entertain us?

Save your money and don't view this slock. Actually, it has nothing going for it but sweet creature designs but the poor blue screen technique that is used just ruisn the entire thing. When it looks like our actors are running with a blue screen then you know it's a stinker.

Entertainment value - 1/5

Movie - * / 5.

Bank Job (Advance Review)

Jason Statham is the best new action hero. His films walk the fine line of campyness and there were a few duds here and there.

Bank Job is something new for him as it's a more serious role. I really knew nothing of the film besides a brief trailer I saw a few weeks before.

Some guys break into a bank to steal a specific item. I won't go on as I don't want to accidentally ruin something. It's a simple enough plot but it's based on a true story, one I knew nothing of.

The acting is good and the movie flows at an entertaining pass so it never gets dull. The problem I had while watching the film was I kept expecting our famous entourage of actors to pop in and make this a blockbuster mega hit but our Ocean's pals don't show up.

Instead we get a more realistic bank movie (more so than The Inside Man) and it does a good job of creating tension when there isn't enough time for thrills.

I can't really recommend this as a theatrical experience but it's worth a viewing at some point. So this is a nice way to start March off, hopefully it remains this way... Yeah right....

Entertainment Value - 3/5

Movie - *** 1/2 / 5

Semi-pro

Some one needs to just bitch smack me. Why am I torturing myself with this blog. These god damn comedies are driving me insane. They aren't good, they actually suck more so than any other year I can remember.

So let's see. Does this film contain a fart joke? Well I don't remember actually. hell for a second there I forgot what I was revieiwng.

The latest film up for slaughter is Semi=pto. The trailers looked terrible and the thought of wasting 90 minutes of my life on this film scared me. However for my not so loyal readers I suffered for you.

The film isn't funny, Ferrell falls flatter than normal and the entire film was a bore moreso than funny. yes, it has a few laughs, mainly the entire bear fiasco and well nothing else. The laughs are too far and few between. Even Farrell fans might be let down by this one.

Entertainment Value - 1 / 5

Movie: - 1/ 5

Witless Protection

I dislike Larry the Cable Guy. So you can imagine where this review is going.

Here' show to tell if you'll like this movie.

Did you find either Larry The Cable Guy: health inspecter or Delta Farce to eb good? If so then by all means rush out and see this flick.

Personally both of those films suck and this means three strieks and hopefully larry is screwed and we'll no longer get this terrible films.

The plot is absurd about a guy kind of takign hostage an fbi witness who is being set up to eb kileld but now they are on the run.

Yes, it's that dumb and it only gets dumber.

Want comedy? How about a fart joke? Yes, yet another god damn comedy in 2008 with yet another god damn fart joke. LOOK HOLLYWOOD, IT ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE SO STOP.

Needless to say the comedy gets even worse. Even to the point of Larry getting a rectal inspection and he ends up sharting in a mans face. Oh yes, it's that funny...

So please don't see this shit. Save your money, soul and peace of mind.

Entertainment Value - 1/2 / 5

Movie - 1/2 / 5

The other Boleyn Girl

I'll be honest and admit I don't know a lot about the Boleyn story. From what I can gather is this film took some liberties and altered some things. What exactly I'm not sure about.

Either way i can finally say this is the second worth while film to be released this year and considering it's already March we know it's just going to get worse because I have a few comedy reviews to write up as well.

The costumes in this period film are fantastic. Some of the king's wardrobe is amazing and most of the girls outfits are grand as well, excluding this weird Asian looking thing early on.

The thing that really did it for me though were the performances. Eric Bana fills the screen with the presence of what I think a king would be like. He comes off as arrogant and powerful. Both women also provide solid performances and Portman plays the most unlikeable character I've seen in a while.

I highly recommend this film to anyone who enjoys a period piece drama. if you're a teenage girl then please don't see this as you made my viewing almost unbearable with your giggling over incest.

Entertainment Value - 3/5

Movie - ****/ 5

March dates

College Road Trip - 7th
10,000 BC - 7th
The Bank Job - 7th
Miss Prettigrew Lives for A Day - 7th
Doomsday - 14th
Horton Hears a Who - 14th
Never Back Down - 14th
Drillbit Taylor - 21st
Shutter - 21st
Meet The Browns - 21st
21 - 28th
Run, Fatboy, Run - 28th
Stop Loss - 28th
Superhero Movie - 28th