This is my official last review of 2008. A DTV might slip in, or a limited release or an advance review but this is it folks. The final 2008 film release review. And what's funny is the fact that I didn't want to see this movie.
I dislike Owen Wilson with a passion. To look at him I become annoyed so right there the film had that going against it. Plus everyone ruined the ending for em so I knew what was to come and cursed the parents dragging there small children to this.
DEAR PARENTS,
This film contains skinny dipping and baby making. It's not for your god damn pre-schoolers. Yes it has a fucking dog but don't be stupid cunts.
So anyway, the film is actually pretty good. It flows nicely for something that's almost 2 hours long. it tugs at the hear strings and Aniston gives a solid performance and WIlson is far from being overly annoying.
I'd actually recommend this one as either a rental or theatrical viewing but for the love of god don't bring your stupid children. It's not a movie for them.
So there you have it. Actually ended the year with a half way decent film. Way to go Fox!
Entertainment Value - 3/5
Movie - 4/5
NOTE: top 10 and bottom 10 film list to come in the enxt few days.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
The Spirit
I like Frank Miller a lot. Sin City is awesome and 300 was solid. However I know nothing about The Spirit. With that being said I must admit to it being a major let down.
Before you attempt to hunt me down and kill me, let me explain. While the cinematography is sweet, but when isn't it awesome when FM is involved. The script itself is so random and campy that I just didn't get that impression from the trailer.
The guy in front of me obviously read the graphic novel because he was laughing his ass off. Which is what kept waking me from my slumber.
The dialog is either bland or too over the top. Scarlett Johanson's character calling someone a fart isn't exactly amusing or intelligent. I did love her character though. Sam Jackson hams up his character to where it's unbearable to watch him on screen and he has a huge role.
So if you're looking for campy fun then go see the Spirit but right now I can't recommend it beyond a rental. Maybe on a future watching I can appreciate it more but it felt more like a DTV movie than a theatrical release.
Entertainment value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2.5/5
Before you attempt to hunt me down and kill me, let me explain. While the cinematography is sweet, but when isn't it awesome when FM is involved. The script itself is so random and campy that I just didn't get that impression from the trailer.
The guy in front of me obviously read the graphic novel because he was laughing his ass off. Which is what kept waking me from my slumber.
The dialog is either bland or too over the top. Scarlett Johanson's character calling someone a fart isn't exactly amusing or intelligent. I did love her character though. Sam Jackson hams up his character to where it's unbearable to watch him on screen and he has a huge role.
So if you're looking for campy fun then go see the Spirit but right now I can't recommend it beyond a rental. Maybe on a future watching I can appreciate it more but it felt more like a DTV movie than a theatrical release.
Entertainment value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2.5/5
Boogeyman 3 (Advance DTV review)
The first Boogeyman movie was rather shitty. The second was some how much worse than the first. I didn't really care to see this one but needed something to do.
It's not great mind you but I actually enjoyed watching it. I love the ending, I love the solution and the plot makes a little sense but really, I know our scream queen isn't the brightest bulb in the bunch but she should have realized things much sooner.
Gore was good, decent shower scenes and the acting was decent as well. I'd say it's worth a rental for any horror fans and it's easily the best in the series so far.
Entertainment value - 4/5
Movie - 3/5
It's not great mind you but I actually enjoyed watching it. I love the ending, I love the solution and the plot makes a little sense but really, I know our scream queen isn't the brightest bulb in the bunch but she should have realized things much sooner.
Gore was good, decent shower scenes and the acting was decent as well. I'd say it's worth a rental for any horror fans and it's easily the best in the series so far.
Entertainment value - 4/5
Movie - 3/5
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Bedtime Stories
The previews for this one looked pretty good. I use to like Sandler but a lot of his more recent stuff has really sucked or been way too average. I liked the diea that these two kids some how make what they say come to life and their dumb uncle tries to sue it to make his life better, despite telling the kids that there are no happy endings.
But of course there are and if you've seen the previews then you already know what will happen. Despite the cliches it's a mildly entertaining film that borrows from many other films. My biggest complaint with the film comes from Sandler. It's not that he is bad... Well, he is but it's because he says and does things that aren't something this character would do but are also overused Sandler-isms that we've heard him say and do a thousand times before.
So Sandler is obvious a one trick pony but that's okay ebcause the kids will enjoy this one. I can't recommend this one completely for a theatrical viewing but right now there isn't much out there for the kids so if you're heading to the tehater you could do much worse than this one.
Entertainment Value - 3/5
Movie - 3/5
But of course there are and if you've seen the previews then you already know what will happen. Despite the cliches it's a mildly entertaining film that borrows from many other films. My biggest complaint with the film comes from Sandler. It's not that he is bad... Well, he is but it's because he says and does things that aren't something this character would do but are also overused Sandler-isms that we've heard him say and do a thousand times before.
So Sandler is obvious a one trick pony but that's okay ebcause the kids will enjoy this one. I can't recommend this one completely for a theatrical viewing but right now there isn't much out there for the kids so if you're heading to the tehater you could do much worse than this one.
Entertainment Value - 3/5
Movie - 3/5
The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button
This was my #1 most wanted film for the end of the year. It was hyped to no end and while critics loved it, fellow movie goes seemed to have been bored by it.
I can't say that I was bored. But it does have some things in common with Forest Gump and I think that is why some find it boring. It's about a child who is born as an old man and goes into an adult but his aging is reversed.
Ultimately the film runs it's course (about 3 hours). The first half is the old version and the other half is the younger version. In between the story is read by a young girl who is with her mother during a hurricane.
The only problem I had was the ending which really makes little sense but that's okay because it's a beautiful film to watch, the acting is solid and it's an inetresting story. Sure it doesn't give us anything new outside of the gimmick of the age thing but it's a solid film and while not my favorite film of 2008, it might be in the top 10 of 2008.
Entertainment Value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 4/5
I can't say that I was bored. But it does have some things in common with Forest Gump and I think that is why some find it boring. It's about a child who is born as an old man and goes into an adult but his aging is reversed.
Ultimately the film runs it's course (about 3 hours). The first half is the old version and the other half is the younger version. In between the story is read by a young girl who is with her mother during a hurricane.
The only problem I had was the ending which really makes little sense but that's okay because it's a beautiful film to watch, the acting is solid and it's an inetresting story. Sure it doesn't give us anything new outside of the gimmick of the age thing but it's a solid film and while not my favorite film of 2008, it might be in the top 10 of 2008.
Entertainment Value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 4/5
Sunday, December 28, 2008
The Wrestler (Limited Release)
Ah, another hyped Oscar contender. Maybe I'm blinded by something but while it's a really good film, I don't find MR's performance to be that grand of a thing. He does a great job mind you but his character is based on this semi-down to earth exwrestler who is just trying to be who he is.
It's a good story, really strong really and DA is one of my favorite directors so this had a high chance of being awesome for me. It does hold that Rocky vibe, maybe a mix of 1 and 6.
One thing I love is the ending. I won't ruin it but it seemed fitting in every way possible. A really good movie, top 10? Unsure right now but I do give this a high recommendation.
Entertainment Value - 4/5
Movie - 4.5/5
It's a good story, really strong really and DA is one of my favorite directors so this had a high chance of being awesome for me. It does hold that Rocky vibe, maybe a mix of 1 and 6.
One thing I love is the ending. I won't ruin it but it seemed fitting in every way possible. A really good movie, top 10? Unsure right now but I do give this a high recommendation.
Entertainment Value - 4/5
Movie - 4.5/5
Taken (Advance Review - due to hit US cinemas on 1-30-2009)
I had never heard of this film but someone mentioned it was coming out in the USA in theaters at the end of January 2009 so I figured I should just buy the dvd since it's out in the UK.
I like Liam Neeson. I think he's a great actor actually. He does a fine job here, as does everyone else. The girl who plays his daughter was very good too with her limited screen time.
The film is about a girl who is taken while traveling in Europe and thankfully her father has the skills, friends and the know how to find her but he only has 72 hours.
The film flows well. Lots of action, an interesting plot and frankly this film was better than the latest Bond film. I give this one a recommendation for a theatrical viewing when it hits US cinemas.
Entertainment Value - 4.5 /5
Movie - 4/5
I like Liam Neeson. I think he's a great actor actually. He does a fine job here, as does everyone else. The girl who plays his daughter was very good too with her limited screen time.
The film is about a girl who is taken while traveling in Europe and thankfully her father has the skills, friends and the know how to find her but he only has 72 hours.
The film flows well. Lots of action, an interesting plot and frankly this film was better than the latest Bond film. I give this one a recommendation for a theatrical viewing when it hits US cinemas.
Entertainment Value - 4.5 /5
Movie - 4/5
Valkyrie
My dislike of Tom Cruise is obvious if you know me. But I won't let such a thing ruin a good movie. Question is, is this a good movie?
Without a doubt it's a finely made film. The cinematography is top notch and hell, I'll admit it, even the acting is good all around. Even Cruise.
The thing is, the story wasn't all that compelling and maybe that's the problem with 2008. It's been a hit or miss year and frankly, most of the stories really haven't been worth telling.
It's a decent film, worth a viewing but the story itself did nothing for me. I've seen this same type of movie time and time again and it doesn't go above and beyond what has already been made. But still it's a pretty good film despite that.
Entertainment value - 3/5
movie - 4/5
Without a doubt it's a finely made film. The cinematography is top notch and hell, I'll admit it, even the acting is good all around. Even Cruise.
The thing is, the story wasn't all that compelling and maybe that's the problem with 2008. It's been a hit or miss year and frankly, most of the stories really haven't been worth telling.
It's a decent film, worth a viewing but the story itself did nothing for me. I've seen this same type of movie time and time again and it doesn't go above and beyond what has already been made. But still it's a pretty good film despite that.
Entertainment value - 3/5
movie - 4/5
Doubt
I saw the broadway play a few years ago and really didn't care for it. I dislike things that don't even attempt to give you a final answer.
Doubt is about a nun who think a priest is molesting a kid. And it's all about doubting yourself, your faith and just everything in general. The only thing this film does is create an interesting conversation piece, at least the play did anyway.
The film is filled with little clues and annoying shots that are never explained and left to the viewer to notice and make sense of. Why does a light bulb blow out? WHy are the windows open? What's the point of the pen?
If you look close enough you'll find the answers like the windows show the young nuns mindset, open and when Streap's nun closes it it shows not only her closemindedness but how she wants everyone to see things as she sees them. It's why see tells Amy Adams to keep her eyes open because she wants to see something because that is what she believes.
The thing is, the audience I saw this with oohed and ahhs and gasped and all kinds of other shit. They had gone to catholic school, had nuns like Streaps and blah blah blah. I wanted to hurt all of them for falling into the films grasp because really, the answer is thrown at you with so many awkward scenes and a few lines that you're stupid if you don't see the true answer, despite an openended finale.
And I can't do this review without talking about the acting. I think Streap is great in most of her roles. I think she fails in this role. She's all over the place with the character and instead of coming off as a very stern, somewhat of a bitch nun with a kinder side to her, she comes off as a manic depressive cunt. PSH is another person who I think is awesome. However, he asked the writer what the truth is and the writer has refused to openly comment on it as the whole point is you never know if he fucks the black boy. Well PSH said it would help him with the character but also to cast doubt on the other actors so it felt more real.
The problem here is that he plays into it too much. It makes some things obvious and everything falls back onto one line in the movie and it's during the first confrontation so if you see this then keep your ears open for it and then talk about it afterwards.
Not a terrible film but it's a useless one with some very odd acting choices from the cast and the film uses too many "subtle" images to push you into your conclusions instead of allowing you to make them yourself ala the play.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Doubt is about a nun who think a priest is molesting a kid. And it's all about doubting yourself, your faith and just everything in general. The only thing this film does is create an interesting conversation piece, at least the play did anyway.
The film is filled with little clues and annoying shots that are never explained and left to the viewer to notice and make sense of. Why does a light bulb blow out? WHy are the windows open? What's the point of the pen?
If you look close enough you'll find the answers like the windows show the young nuns mindset, open and when Streap's nun closes it it shows not only her closemindedness but how she wants everyone to see things as she sees them. It's why see tells Amy Adams to keep her eyes open because she wants to see something because that is what she believes.
The thing is, the audience I saw this with oohed and ahhs and gasped and all kinds of other shit. They had gone to catholic school, had nuns like Streaps and blah blah blah. I wanted to hurt all of them for falling into the films grasp because really, the answer is thrown at you with so many awkward scenes and a few lines that you're stupid if you don't see the true answer, despite an openended finale.
And I can't do this review without talking about the acting. I think Streap is great in most of her roles. I think she fails in this role. She's all over the place with the character and instead of coming off as a very stern, somewhat of a bitch nun with a kinder side to her, she comes off as a manic depressive cunt. PSH is another person who I think is awesome. However, he asked the writer what the truth is and the writer has refused to openly comment on it as the whole point is you never know if he fucks the black boy. Well PSH said it would help him with the character but also to cast doubt on the other actors so it felt more real.
The problem here is that he plays into it too much. It makes some things obvious and everything falls back onto one line in the movie and it's during the first confrontation so if you see this then keep your ears open for it and then talk about it afterwards.
Not a terrible film but it's a useless one with some very odd acting choices from the cast and the film uses too many "subtle" images to push you into your conclusions instead of allowing you to make them yourself ala the play.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Donkey Punch (Limited Release)
WTF is with these lame ass horror films. I can't even figure out how this one got a limited release. Remember Very bad Things back in 1998? It's like that but instead we have a hot orgy with full frontal from both sexes and one guy donkey punches a chick and she died and then there's all kinds of murder and mayhem.
The description online made me believe this was a murder mystery but it's nothing like that and if anything it just sucks. Besides the awesome nudity this piece of shit isn't worth the time of day so this is a total pass all around.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
movie - 0/5
The description online made me believe this was a murder mystery but it's nothing like that and if anything it just sucks. Besides the awesome nudity this piece of shit isn't worth the time of day so this is a total pass all around.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
movie - 0/5
The Tale of Despereaux
I read the book about 4 years ago and really enjoyed it for what it was. I had mixed feelings about a movie being made out of it and part of me was wishing for human and cgi stuff but instead it went with an odd animation choice for the humans but whatever. The story is kind of faithful I guess, from what I remember.
Besides the sub-par animation I think it holds up pretty well and should entertain kids but in a year with a lot of classics it's hard to really justify this one. I think that's why Coraline was pushed back into 2009 because the animated films this eyar either rocked hardcore or sucked a big one.
The Tale of Despereaux falls in the middle so while not worth a theatrical viewing, it might make a decent viewing on home video so wait until then to see it because Bolt is still playing which is easily the best animated film of the fall.
Entertainment value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Besides the sub-par animation I think it holds up pretty well and should entertain kids but in a year with a lot of classics it's hard to really justify this one. I think that's why Coraline was pushed back into 2009 because the animated films this eyar either rocked hardcore or sucked a big one.
The Tale of Despereaux falls in the middle so while not worth a theatrical viewing, it might make a decent viewing on home video so wait until then to see it because Bolt is still playing which is easily the best animated film of the fall.
Entertainment value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Religulous
It's kind of funny that.
A) I watched this film despite hating all religions
and
B)I saw Doubt right after this (review coming after this one)
This film was a fun waste of time. I don't know what else to say. It mocks all religion (which is okay with me ebcause I don't give two shits about religion) but if you're a holy roller then avoid it, you'll hate it.
It won't change anyone's mind about their faith and it's kind of a waste of time but hey, someone made it so I guess if you don't give a fuck about it then give it a viewing for shits and giggles... I don't know what else to say.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 1/5
A) I watched this film despite hating all religions
and
B)I saw Doubt right after this (review coming after this one)
This film was a fun waste of time. I don't know what else to say. It mocks all religion (which is okay with me ebcause I don't give two shits about religion) but if you're a holy roller then avoid it, you'll hate it.
It won't change anyone's mind about their faith and it's kind of a waste of time but hey, someone made it so I guess if you don't give a fuck about it then give it a viewing for shits and giggles... I don't know what else to say.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 1/5
Friday, December 26, 2008
Are You Scared 2 (advance DTV review)
I never saw the original and I don't think they are actually connected. However, what the fuck was this piece of shit? I know it's direct to video but this is worse than the shit that the Sci-Fi channel puts out.
Some friends join some cam online game gps hunt thing in the middle of nowhere. Tony Todd controls the cameras and some mad man is stalking them. It's a tedious movie, with camera work in vein of Diary of the Dead or Cloverfield. You know, one movie does it well and then everyone needs to do it.
This film doesn't even have good gore. Or acting or even footage. it looks like a video off of youtube. It's that badly done. I could probably make this movie in a weekend with some friends, a camera and some red cornstarch.
I don't recommend this film at all. One of the worst I've ever seen. AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!!!!
Entertainment Value - 0/5
Movie - 0/5
Some friends join some cam online game gps hunt thing in the middle of nowhere. Tony Todd controls the cameras and some mad man is stalking them. It's a tedious movie, with camera work in vein of Diary of the Dead or Cloverfield. You know, one movie does it well and then everyone needs to do it.
This film doesn't even have good gore. Or acting or even footage. it looks like a video off of youtube. It's that badly done. I could probably make this movie in a weekend with some friends, a camera and some red cornstarch.
I don't recommend this film at all. One of the worst I've ever seen. AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!!!!
Entertainment Value - 0/5
Movie - 0/5
Revolutionary Road
This was yet another hyped film for 2008 so I couldn't wait to see it, despite boring trailers. Well, to be fair the first part of the film is rather bland.
Perhaps that's harsh, the first part is beautiful to look at but the development is slow and at times tedious. It requires too much from the viewer without giving them anything to really think about.
Then comes the second half of the way where's it an emotional rollercoaster. One that had me on the edge of my seat, craving the conflict the anger, everything that was pouring out of the characters and the actors bring it to life with such ferocity that one can't help but think that Leo should already have the Oscar on his mantle.
So despite a lackluster beginning, the finale of the film is worth the price of admission. I highly recommend this one and if it isn't in my top 10 of 2008, it'll be damn close to it.
Entertainment Value - 3/5
Movie - 4.5/ 5
Perhaps that's harsh, the first part is beautiful to look at but the development is slow and at times tedious. It requires too much from the viewer without giving them anything to really think about.
Then comes the second half of the way where's it an emotional rollercoaster. One that had me on the edge of my seat, craving the conflict the anger, everything that was pouring out of the characters and the actors bring it to life with such ferocity that one can't help but think that Leo should already have the Oscar on his mantle.
So despite a lackluster beginning, the finale of the film is worth the price of admission. I highly recommend this one and if it isn't in my top 10 of 2008, it'll be damn close to it.
Entertainment Value - 3/5
Movie - 4.5/ 5
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Midnight Movie (bonus review)
This movie caught my eye. Sure I could be reviewing movies that count towards the blog but where's the fun in that? The idea is inetresting. A killer is some how sucked into a film and years later the film is shown again for the first time during a midnight showing at some rundown theater. He can then teleport in and out of the movie and kill people.
It sounds lame, I know but it keeps you on your toes ebcause you never know where or when the killer will appear. The gore is pretty good. The scares are kind of weak and the film within the film is a total ripoff of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
But still, our lead female is kind of hot, think taylor Swift and her curly hair (yum). And no one is exactly annoying. My favorite part is the burly guy bitching about the people ruining the movie with their talk. It's funny because the whole time is girlfriend is subtly giving him a blowjob (at first I thought she had vanished).
It's a decent rental for horror fans but I wouldn't buy it or anything. The ending comes from nowhere, almost as if they didn't know how to end the film.
Entertainment Value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2.5 /5
It sounds lame, I know but it keeps you on your toes ebcause you never know where or when the killer will appear. The gore is pretty good. The scares are kind of weak and the film within the film is a total ripoff of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
But still, our lead female is kind of hot, think taylor Swift and her curly hair (yum). And no one is exactly annoying. My favorite part is the burly guy bitching about the people ruining the movie with their talk. It's funny because the whole time is girlfriend is subtly giving him a blowjob (at first I thought she had vanished).
It's a decent rental for horror fans but I wouldn't buy it or anything. The ending comes from nowhere, almost as if they didn't know how to end the film.
Entertainment Value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Slumdog Millionaire
Boyle is a hit or miss director for me. I honestly don't think Trainspotting is that great of a film. But this film has been riding the hype train for a while but I'll admit to thinking nothing of it, due to it's name. Yes, I am one of those people.
I'll admit it still surprised me. The cinematography is beautiful at times (can't wait for a bluray release) and the acting, even from the kids is very good. At times it reminds me of City of God (another hyped film, but one I didn't care for).
Slumdog is about a guy who goes on the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire and he makes it to the 20 million question. They think he's cheated because no one has ever gotten that far, let alone a slumdog.
The film shows you that from the start but jumps back to show the tv show and how he knows these different answers. It all comes together is a very tight finale, reminiscent of Run Lola Run and it left me hooked, I had to find out what happens.
One of the few times where I will utter the words "shoe in for Oscar". Yes, it's that good. It's been a year of shit but this is always the time for the good dramas to come out. Highly recommend as a theatrical viewing if it's playing in your area.
Entertainment Value - 5/5
Movie - 5/5
I'll admit it still surprised me. The cinematography is beautiful at times (can't wait for a bluray release) and the acting, even from the kids is very good. At times it reminds me of City of God (another hyped film, but one I didn't care for).
Slumdog is about a guy who goes on the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire and he makes it to the 20 million question. They think he's cheated because no one has ever gotten that far, let alone a slumdog.
The film shows you that from the start but jumps back to show the tv show and how he knows these different answers. It all comes together is a very tight finale, reminiscent of Run Lola Run and it left me hooked, I had to find out what happens.
One of the few times where I will utter the words "shoe in for Oscar". Yes, it's that good. It's been a year of shit but this is always the time for the good dramas to come out. Highly recommend as a theatrical viewing if it's playing in your area.
Entertainment Value - 5/5
Movie - 5/5
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Yes Man
I like Jim but he hasn't really done anything worth while in a long time. Not even his serious stuff has been good and now that I think about it, Truman Show might be his last good film.
Most people think of Yes Man as Liar Liar 2 and at first glance I guess it is but once you get a bit further into the movie he's doing it all for a selfish reason.
The idea is that by saying yes to everything you ultimately get great deals from fate. Be it a new girlfriend, better job ect but we all know the true story of the film is that it's always nice to say yes but it isn't always the correct answer.
Here's a funny story for you guys. I work in the medical field so I constantly joke with my female co-workers that one of them should call off one day and say they have ganaria. Oddly enough when the main character meets his ex-wife (early in the film), he wants to leave the bar so his excuse is "I have ganaria". Which I found way too funny and I will now force all co-workers to see this movie for that line (or at least watch it via other means...)
Either way, Yes Man is an okay movie. It breaks no new ground, does nothing special or new and could pass for Liar Liar 2, which brings up the question of how desperate Jimmy boy is to actually pick this script and not realize he already did something similar to it already. rental perhaps but not a theatrical viewing.
Entertainment Value - 3/5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Most people think of Yes Man as Liar Liar 2 and at first glance I guess it is but once you get a bit further into the movie he's doing it all for a selfish reason.
The idea is that by saying yes to everything you ultimately get great deals from fate. Be it a new girlfriend, better job ect but we all know the true story of the film is that it's always nice to say yes but it isn't always the correct answer.
Here's a funny story for you guys. I work in the medical field so I constantly joke with my female co-workers that one of them should call off one day and say they have ganaria. Oddly enough when the main character meets his ex-wife (early in the film), he wants to leave the bar so his excuse is "I have ganaria". Which I found way too funny and I will now force all co-workers to see this movie for that line (or at least watch it via other means...)
Either way, Yes Man is an okay movie. It breaks no new ground, does nothing special or new and could pass for Liar Liar 2, which brings up the question of how desperate Jimmy boy is to actually pick this script and not realize he already did something similar to it already. rental perhaps but not a theatrical viewing.
Entertainment Value - 3/5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Frost/Nixon (LIMITED RELEASE)
This seems to be the year of movies based on broadway plays. First we had Mamma Mia and then we get a double dose with this movie and Doubt. I knew very little about the play and movie so I was interested in seeing it (and not paying $120 for a play ticket).
It's an inetresting film. It really reminded me of The Queen. With the filming technique, wouldn't be surprised if it was directed by the same person or not.
Either way I found this movie to be solid all around. From the acting to everything else. it flows well and has a story to tell. Best picture? No but it's a damn fine drama piece.
Entertainment Value - 3.5/5
Movie - 4.5 /5
It's an inetresting film. It really reminded me of The Queen. With the filming technique, wouldn't be surprised if it was directed by the same person or not.
Either way I found this movie to be solid all around. From the acting to everything else. it flows well and has a story to tell. Best picture? No but it's a damn fine drama piece.
Entertainment Value - 3.5/5
Movie - 4.5 /5
The Day the Earth Stood Still
I died a little inside when I heard this was being remade. I've seen, loved and own the original so unlike a few others in the world this one had to really impress me other it was another useless remake.
Reeves is the perfect monotone actor for an alien who just doesn't give a fuck. Too bad Jayden Smith has the acting talent of his mother. He sticks up the screen and should forever be banned from movie sets. Seriously, this kid can't act to save his life.
The special efefcts in this film are perhaps the only reason to really bother with it but unlike ID4 or MIB this isn't a very interesting film. It's very dry and rather predictable. The ending kind of sucks to but whatever.
Not a totally piece of shit but I'll recommend a dvd viewing and nothing else.
Entertainment value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Reeves is the perfect monotone actor for an alien who just doesn't give a fuck. Too bad Jayden Smith has the acting talent of his mother. He sticks up the screen and should forever be banned from movie sets. Seriously, this kid can't act to save his life.
The special efefcts in this film are perhaps the only reason to really bother with it but unlike ID4 or MIB this isn't a very interesting film. It's very dry and rather predictable. The ending kind of sucks to but whatever.
Not a totally piece of shit but I'll recommend a dvd viewing and nothing else.
Entertainment value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Friday, December 19, 2008
Gran Torino (advance review)
Everyone knows I don't like Eastwood. I think he's a douchbag and untalented. Relying on nothing more than a twist to try and shock his viewers (Mystic River, that boxing movie, and now this).
Eastwood plays a hradass vet. His wife just died, he hates these god damn gooks who live near him and blah blah blah.
He saves a gook. the gook community is all like omg we love you long time blah blah blah.
So in the end he, who killed gooks in the war, now gives his everything for the gooks. Isn't that a deep movie? I use gook because that is what he calls them in the movie. Not just to others but to their face, even when he befriends them but you know what? That's okay! Because he's Clint Eastwood.
SO tomorrow while I'm out and I see a black person I'm going to call them a nigger or an asian a gook because it's okay. And this is where the movie fails. A film like American History X used it's themes to mold the characters and it isn't done in such a way in this one.
entertainment value - 1/5
movie - 1/5
Eastwood plays a hradass vet. His wife just died, he hates these god damn gooks who live near him and blah blah blah.
He saves a gook. the gook community is all like omg we love you long time blah blah blah.
So in the end he, who killed gooks in the war, now gives his everything for the gooks. Isn't that a deep movie? I use gook because that is what he calls them in the movie. Not just to others but to their face, even when he befriends them but you know what? That's okay! Because he's Clint Eastwood.
SO tomorrow while I'm out and I see a black person I'm going to call them a nigger or an asian a gook because it's okay. And this is where the movie fails. A film like American History X used it's themes to mold the characters and it isn't done in such a way in this one.
entertainment value - 1/5
movie - 1/5
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Seven Pounds (ADVANCE REVIEW)
In an odd twist of fate I got my hands on this film before release. It's a possible Oscar contender and the studio has asked critics to not review the film before Friday due to the "dark subject matter".
With that being said I'm not a "real" critic and the studio can blow me. I thought the idea of the film was interesting from the trailer. Someone trying to atone for something by finding 7 people to donate a part to.
And basically that's the whole point of the film. It's not a story about redemption in the typical sense. It's a pretty good film. Not the best of the year but solid, and one with solid performances. Smith's final scenes are rather badly acted but hey, he is married to Jada Pinkett and to witness her terrible acting catch the opening of Scream 2 (seriously, how can she not be ashamed of that act "talent".)
So anyway, long story short. It's a solid film all around. It's worth a viewing, it doesn't have some super omega ultra awesome secret twist ending. The opening is the ending, it's not a happy go lucky love story ala The Notebook where everything is sunshine and rainbows in a nursing home. So I do recommend this film during the crowded holiday Oscar rush but it won't be winning any awards.
Entertainment Value - 4.5/5
Movie - 4/5
With that being said I'm not a "real" critic and the studio can blow me. I thought the idea of the film was interesting from the trailer. Someone trying to atone for something by finding 7 people to donate a part to.
And basically that's the whole point of the film. It's not a story about redemption in the typical sense. It's a pretty good film. Not the best of the year but solid, and one with solid performances. Smith's final scenes are rather badly acted but hey, he is married to Jada Pinkett and to witness her terrible acting catch the opening of Scream 2 (seriously, how can she not be ashamed of that act "talent".)
So anyway, long story short. It's a solid film all around. It's worth a viewing, it doesn't have some super omega ultra awesome secret twist ending. The opening is the ending, it's not a happy go lucky love story ala The Notebook where everything is sunshine and rainbows in a nursing home. So I do recommend this film during the crowded holiday Oscar rush but it won't be winning any awards.
Entertainment Value - 4.5/5
Movie - 4/5
Punisher: War Zone
The last Punisher film wasn't good and I had no hope for this one. What with a new actor and all. Well, in year full of awesome comic films the Punisher doesn't hold off.
It starts off strong with a decent action scene but the screen play really seems to hinder the film from being worth watching. Some of the lines are bad, worse than something you'd hear on Heroes (which is a great show but some lines are bad).
I wouldn't recommend Punisher in the theater but it would be an okay rental for a rainy night. I'll say pass on this one for sure unless you're a fan of the comics because some characters do pop in.
entertainment value - 3/5
movie - 2/5
It starts off strong with a decent action scene but the screen play really seems to hinder the film from being worth watching. Some of the lines are bad, worse than something you'd hear on Heroes (which is a great show but some lines are bad).
I wouldn't recommend Punisher in the theater but it would be an okay rental for a rainy night. I'll say pass on this one for sure unless you're a fan of the comics because some characters do pop in.
entertainment value - 3/5
movie - 2/5
Monday, December 15, 2008
Cadillac Records
Dear Beyonce,
You can't act. You're rather bad and you keep stanking up these "Oscar" films so please go back to "singing" but too bad your new cd is a load of ass.
The film is okay. It really reminds me of Dreamgirls in a way and it's really not a very interesting story. I liked none of the characters, they all came off as assholes and I'll be sad if this gets an Oscar nomination for best picture.
Mediocre and not worth the time of day to view it on video or dvd. Typical drama.
entertainment value - 1/5
movie - 2/5
You can't act. You're rather bad and you keep stanking up these "Oscar" films so please go back to "singing" but too bad your new cd is a load of ass.
The film is okay. It really reminds me of Dreamgirls in a way and it's really not a very interesting story. I liked none of the characters, they all came off as assholes and I'll be sad if this gets an Oscar nomination for best picture.
Mediocre and not worth the time of day to view it on video or dvd. Typical drama.
entertainment value - 1/5
movie - 2/5
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Nothing Like the Holidays
These movies are made for certain types of people. This is aimed to get the hispanics into the theater. It's your typical holiday film with crazy families, death and whatever else is a cliche these days,
It has a decent cast, it works and it even has a token white chick who is annoying to the family and in the end they just don't get her, most likely because she is white.
But still it's an okay movie. I'll never view it again but I won't have to. So if you fit the target audience, go see it or you might not get more movies like it. Otherwise pass, there are better family holiday films out there.
Entertainment value - 2/5
movie - 2/5
It has a decent cast, it works and it even has a token white chick who is annoying to the family and in the end they just don't get her, most likely because she is white.
But still it's an okay movie. I'll never view it again but I won't have to. So if you fit the target audience, go see it or you might not get more movies like it. Otherwise pass, there are better family holiday films out there.
Entertainment value - 2/5
movie - 2/5
Delgo
WTF is this movie? It came out of nowhere, has a huge cast list of known actors (One of which died three years ago) and yet it some how gets a theatrical release despite copying a slew of other films and being a run of the mill animated fantasy film.
It does look nice and some of the character designs are good but as whole this movie was boring (except one fight scene). Rest of the film just felt like it would never end and when it finally did I couldn't believe it because it felt like it took me all morning to watch it.
Avoid this one boys and girls. It isn't worth the time or money. I doubt even little kids would get much enjoyment from it.
Entertainment value - 1/5
movie - .5 /5
It does look nice and some of the character designs are good but as whole this movie was boring (except one fight scene). Rest of the film just felt like it would never end and when it finally did I couldn't believe it because it felt like it took me all morning to watch it.
Avoid this one boys and girls. It isn't worth the time or money. I doubt even little kids would get much enjoyment from it.
Entertainment value - 1/5
movie - .5 /5
Pulse 3 (advance DTV review)
The original Pulse (from Japan) was fantastic. The remake was horrible but most are. The DTV sequel was one of the worst I've seen and I may have reviewed it in this blog so imagine my surprise when I heard a 3rd one was made. Really? Two flops and you still whore the series out?
To be honest this was a decent effort. It starts off strong, right before the midway point of the original film and then jump forward to the refugee camps. A girl finds a pc, someone named Adam is on it and she ventures outt o find him.
In no ways is it original or anything but it was a decent film. It held my interest and while I wouldn't completely recommend it, if you liked the other 2 films I see no reason to not see this one. It's okay.
Entertainment value - 2/5
movie - 2/5
To be honest this was a decent effort. It starts off strong, right before the midway point of the original film and then jump forward to the refugee camps. A girl finds a pc, someone named Adam is on it and she ventures outt o find him.
In no ways is it original or anything but it was a decent film. It held my interest and while I wouldn't completely recommend it, if you liked the other 2 films I see no reason to not see this one. It's okay.
Entertainment value - 2/5
movie - 2/5
Saturday, December 13, 2008
An American Carol
My normal theater never got this but a smaller one near me did. It looks like a porn theater and I have limits to what I will endure for this challenge. So I considered this a limited release and oh goody it's released on dvd right before the end of the year.
Date Movie, Epic Movie and the other dumb movies can't compare to this film.
It's balls to the wall American bullshit. It's a hater of documentary filmmaker Moore. It takes the theme of a Christmas Carol and makes it look like the World Trade Center is Moore's fault.
It's a tasteless film and not in a good way, say like Postal. Instead it tries to take jabs but comes off as utter white trash and even includes performances frm Trace Adkins, guess Toby Keith wasn't available.
Avoid this piece of shit at all costs.
entertainment value - 0/5
Movie - 0/5
Date Movie, Epic Movie and the other dumb movies can't compare to this film.
It's balls to the wall American bullshit. It's a hater of documentary filmmaker Moore. It takes the theme of a Christmas Carol and makes it look like the World Trade Center is Moore's fault.
It's a tasteless film and not in a good way, say like Postal. Instead it tries to take jabs but comes off as utter white trash and even includes performances frm Trace Adkins, guess Toby Keith wasn't available.
Avoid this piece of shit at all costs.
entertainment value - 0/5
Movie - 0/5
Milk
Hot off the heals of a Golden Globe nomination I get my hands on this film. It's still in limited release and I don't see it advancing past that unless it gets an Oscar nomination.
Milk tells the story of a gay man who rises to power in California (I think). The trailers turned me off with Penn's stereotypical homosexual acting. Perhaps the man really acted that way in real life so I'll give Penn the benefit of a doubt.
To be fair though I never heard of this story. It wasn't something that was brought up in school but hey American schools go out of the way to ignore the stuff that might put a damper on the countries reputation.
Anyway, the performances are actually really solid, despite the flamboyant acting of Penn, whom is nominated for best actor at the Golden Globes. It's a well made film to be honest.
Did nothing wrong, tells a story that hasn't been told yet. Is it best picture worthy? Not really, it doesn't bedazzle the viewer in any way. But whatever, give it a viewing on dvd for sure and if it hits the cinema near you, check it out as well.
entertainment value - 3/5
Movie - 4.5 /5
Milk tells the story of a gay man who rises to power in California (I think). The trailers turned me off with Penn's stereotypical homosexual acting. Perhaps the man really acted that way in real life so I'll give Penn the benefit of a doubt.
To be fair though I never heard of this story. It wasn't something that was brought up in school but hey American schools go out of the way to ignore the stuff that might put a damper on the countries reputation.
Anyway, the performances are actually really solid, despite the flamboyant acting of Penn, whom is nominated for best actor at the Golden Globes. It's a well made film to be honest.
Did nothing wrong, tells a story that hasn't been told yet. Is it best picture worthy? Not really, it doesn't bedazzle the viewer in any way. But whatever, give it a viewing on dvd for sure and if it hits the cinema near you, check it out as well.
entertainment value - 3/5
Movie - 4.5 /5
Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild!
I admit it. The original film was so bad that it was piss your pants funny. This sequel, which did get a limited theatrical release goes way over the top with our lads going to some gay weekend in Fort Lauderdale where they ened to fuck as much as possible and collect stamps, the winner will get a crown for gay gone wild!!!!
It's all pretty lame and for the longest time I didn't find it as funny as the original, maybe because this one tries to be more original but then a musical number about golden showers came out of nowhere, followed by a zombie Thriller dance rape scene which was totally wtf.
Yes, it's funny, yes it sterotypes and has Perez Hilton but it isn't for anyone. Unless your gay you won't love this film and this is coming from a straight guy who found the original to be hysterical. Oh well...
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1.5 /5
It's all pretty lame and for the longest time I didn't find it as funny as the original, maybe because this one tries to be more original but then a musical number about golden showers came out of nowhere, followed by a zombie Thriller dance rape scene which was totally wtf.
Yes, it's funny, yes it sterotypes and has Perez Hilton but it isn't for anyone. Unless your gay you won't love this film and this is coming from a straight guy who found the original to be hysterical. Oh well...
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1.5 /5
Thursday, December 11, 2008
City of Ember
This movie seemed okay I guess. A little like Bioshock. I sort of wanted to see it and a friend read the book and said it was good (it has a number of sequels as well).
Well, it's a good movie actually. It wasn't what I was expecting but it provided solid visuals, camera work and acting, even from the young cast. Kids might not get as much enjoyment but tweens seem to be the target audience.
Once you reach 12 years of age you are givena job. Our heroine wants to be a messanger while our hero wants to be a pipe cleaner or something. They receive the wrong jobs but switch with each other. He wants to fix the lights, which keepm flickering.
It's seemed to be a mix of Bioshock and The Giver (which is a fantastic book and could easily make a fantastic movie, if ever tried). I really expect a lot from these movies that are brought to us by Walden media, they tend to stick true to the stories while bringing everything to life (Narnia, ect).
Entertainment Value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 3/5
Well, it's a good movie actually. It wasn't what I was expecting but it provided solid visuals, camera work and acting, even from the young cast. Kids might not get as much enjoyment but tweens seem to be the target audience.
Once you reach 12 years of age you are givena job. Our heroine wants to be a messanger while our hero wants to be a pipe cleaner or something. They receive the wrong jobs but switch with each other. He wants to fix the lights, which keepm flickering.
It's seemed to be a mix of Bioshock and The Giver (which is a fantastic book and could easily make a fantastic movie, if ever tried). I really expect a lot from these movies that are brought to us by Walden media, they tend to stick true to the stories while bringing everything to life (Narnia, ect).
Entertainment Value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 3/5
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
The Changeling
I'm a huge hater of Eastwood. I find him to be a complete asshole but whatever. I still wanted to see The Changeling and the only promising thing about it was that he wasn't going to be in it at least.
Call me surprised but this is easily one of the best films of 2008. It's solid all around from the set designs, to the great acting, even from the kids (the one comes off as rather coldhearted) and Angelina does a great job, so much so that you really can't argue if she can or can't act.
A woman's son goes missing, the police don't believe her and then they find her son except she doesn't think it's her son. It provides an interesting story, one that is supposedly based in fact but one I've never heard of or even after watching this taken the time to see how fact based the original story is.
Either way I highly recommend this film. My local skanky theater got it so while it's a limited release I'm sure most will get it as it's a shoe in for best picture at the Oscars.
Entertainment Value - 4/5
Movie - 5/5
Call me surprised but this is easily one of the best films of 2008. It's solid all around from the set designs, to the great acting, even from the kids (the one comes off as rather coldhearted) and Angelina does a great job, so much so that you really can't argue if she can or can't act.
A woman's son goes missing, the police don't believe her and then they find her son except she doesn't think it's her son. It provides an interesting story, one that is supposedly based in fact but one I've never heard of or even after watching this taken the time to see how fact based the original story is.
Either way I highly recommend this film. My local skanky theater got it so while it's a limited release I'm sure most will get it as it's a shoe in for best picture at the Oscars.
Entertainment Value - 4/5
Movie - 5/5
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Tunnel Rats (Bonus Review)
Everyone knows I'm a Uwe Boll fan but whatever. I hate war films so this could have gone either way for me. oddly enough it's a pretty good film, and that isn't me being all Boll fanatic.
The film has a rather good soundtrack, perhaps not Apocalypse Now but it's damn good. The cinematography is really well and you won't believe this but even the acting is pretty good, as are the action scenes. It's almost as if Boll took the hate to heart and wanted to say fuck you to the haters and create a solid film and it's a shame it isn't getting a theatrical release in the states.
I'd give this a solid rental recommendation, it could be hit or miss, depending if you like war films but I liked it and it looked great on regular dvd.
Entertainment value - 3/5
Movie - 3.5 /5
The film has a rather good soundtrack, perhaps not Apocalypse Now but it's damn good. The cinematography is really well and you won't believe this but even the acting is pretty good, as are the action scenes. It's almost as if Boll took the hate to heart and wanted to say fuck you to the haters and create a solid film and it's a shame it isn't getting a theatrical release in the states.
I'd give this a solid rental recommendation, it could be hit or miss, depending if you like war films but I liked it and it looked great on regular dvd.
Entertainment value - 3/5
Movie - 3.5 /5
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Australia
The original trailer for this made it look a bit iffy and really it never grasped me as a true Oscar contender but then the buzz hit the net so I figured, hey it might be good.
That's when the normal reviews came out and it seemed split down the middle. Many disliked the film while others thought it was okay.
I guess it's an okay film. I've seen better and it's obvious that it is trying to be a classic like Casablanca but it just doesn't deliver. It's from from a great epic and to be honest the film tends to drag more than anything else.
The main cast does an excellent job though and almost make the film worth watching. The flaw in acting though is the terrible acting from the kid. Seriously, it's bad. Either way though I can't recommend the film. A maybe for video rental but not worth the 3 hours you'll spend in the theater with this one.
Entertainment value - 1/5
movie - 2.5 /5
That's when the normal reviews came out and it seemed split down the middle. Many disliked the film while others thought it was okay.
I guess it's an okay film. I've seen better and it's obvious that it is trying to be a classic like Casablanca but it just doesn't deliver. It's from from a great epic and to be honest the film tends to drag more than anything else.
The main cast does an excellent job though and almost make the film worth watching. The flaw in acting though is the terrible acting from the kid. Seriously, it's bad. Either way though I can't recommend the film. A maybe for video rental but not worth the 3 hours you'll spend in the theater with this one.
Entertainment value - 1/5
movie - 2.5 /5
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Resident Evil: Degeneration (advance DTV review)
I'm a huge Resident Evil fan. The movies aren't very good but I was interested in this new CG movie which promised to bring some favorites back into the action. It's due in January 2009 but I got my hands on it early.
The animation is smooth and more times than not it looks above par. Sadly the English vocie cast is rather bad and not in a RE1 kind of way but whatever, it gets the job done.
My biggest problem with the film is that Tyrant talks which totally ruins it for me. Fans will eat this film up, which is good because maybe we'll get a new one but it does have a few minor flaws. Either way I do recommend checking it out.
Entertainment Value - 3/5
Movie - 3/5
The animation is smooth and more times than not it looks above par. Sadly the English vocie cast is rather bad and not in a RE1 kind of way but whatever, it gets the job done.
My biggest problem with the film is that Tyrant talks which totally ruins it for me. Fans will eat this film up, which is good because maybe we'll get a new one but it does have a few minor flaws. Either way I do recommend checking it out.
Entertainment Value - 3/5
Movie - 3/5
December Release Dates
I can't believe we're at the end guys. I'm missing 3 movies right now. Care to help me out? I need to see Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist, Haunting of Molyl Hartley, and Australia which I may go and see this Sunday.
It's been a tough challenge since the summer began and some films lasting only a week and gas prices reaching an all time high. December starts off slow and the holiday is a whole lot of trouble. It's unlikely I'll be 100% done but you know what, it'll be close.
Without further delay, here's the December release list.
5th - Punisher: War Zone
12th - Nothing Like the Holidays
12th - Day the Earth Stood Still
12th - Delgo
19th - 7 pounds
19th - tale of despereaux
19th - yes man
26th - bedtime stories
26th - the spirit
26th - Valkyrie
26th - marley and me
26th - curious case of Benjamin button
It's been a tough challenge since the summer began and some films lasting only a week and gas prices reaching an all time high. December starts off slow and the holiday is a whole lot of trouble. It's unlikely I'll be 100% done but you know what, it'll be close.
Without further delay, here's the December release list.
12th - Nothing Like the Holidays
12th - Day the Earth Stood Still
12th - Delgo
19th - 7 pounds
19th - tale of despereaux
19th - yes man
26th - bedtime stories
26th - the spirit
26th - marley and me
Four Christmases
This movie looked rather funny from the previews and I like the cast so I figured why not? Someone I know saw it before me and said it was crap so my expectations quickly dropped but I must say it isn't a terrible film.
Not the best holiday movie, not exactly family friendly but it's a fun little movie. I am sometimes wish I could skip Christmas and go to Fiji...
Either way, the film does what it can. A lot of the stuff is in the trailers but there are some good bits that aren't. The film goes a tired and cliched route but it doesn't feel that way by the end, despite a very predictable ending.
Entertainment Value - 3/5
Movie - 2.5/5
Not the best holiday movie, not exactly family friendly but it's a fun little movie. I am sometimes wish I could skip Christmas and go to Fiji...
Either way, the film does what it can. A lot of the stuff is in the trailers but there are some good bits that aren't. The film goes a tired and cliched route but it doesn't feel that way by the end, despite a very predictable ending.
Entertainment Value - 3/5
Movie - 2.5/5
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Paranoid Park (Limited Release)
A kid tries to figure things out after the accidental killing of a guard in Paranoid Park, a local skate park. The film is directed by Gus van Saint who also did Elephant (which I highly recommend).
I wouldn't call this a bad film. It works really well and I like the way the story is told and what the director is trying to do but it does falter a bit due to the acting.
The kids really do try but it comes off as they really trying to act normal and it doesn't come across right for the film. It's a shame to because I think I would have enjoyed it even more if it felt more real. But still, worth a rental if you're into the more indie type of film.
Entertainment Value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2.5 /5
I wouldn't call this a bad film. It works really well and I like the way the story is told and what the director is trying to do but it does falter a bit due to the acting.
The kids really do try but it comes off as they really trying to act normal and it doesn't come across right for the film. It's a shame to because I think I would have enjoyed it even more if it felt more real. But still, worth a rental if you're into the more indie type of film.
Entertainment Value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Mostly Ghostly (Bonus Review)
I'm a huge R.L. Stine fan but I haven't finished this book series so I don't know how close it ties everything up but it seemed to capture the mood and characters fine. It's a fun kids movie about a kid being haunted by two kids and an evil man may have killed them and their parents so they are trying to find a way to stop him from unleashing all ghosts.
It's a fine movie. The kids give a solid performance while the adults ham it up a bit too much but it works for the target audience. I'd recommend it to parents looking for a decent kids film. It really reminds me of Stine's film from last year which I need to pick up still but can't remember the name. Hopefully next year we get another fine offering.
entertainment value - 3/5
movie - 3/5
It's a fine movie. The kids give a solid performance while the adults ham it up a bit too much but it works for the target audience. I'd recommend it to parents looking for a decent kids film. It really reminds me of Stine's film from last year which I need to pick up still but can't remember the name. Hopefully next year we get another fine offering.
entertainment value - 3/5
movie - 3/5
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Transporter 3
I love Jason Statham. He could be in a toilet for 2 hours and I'm sure I'd still find it entertaining. I liked the original film, thought the sequel was so so and this just puts the nail in the coffin because I think the series has runs its course.
The plot is unoriginal. The dialog is laughable and despite a few okay fight scenes I never thought "wow" like I did with the original and its oil scene but hey we can't all be awesome.
I'd recommend the new Bond over this one or wait for Crank 2 in a few months because this one isn't worth seeing.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2/5
The plot is unoriginal. The dialog is laughable and despite a few okay fight scenes I never thought "wow" like I did with the original and its oil scene but hey we can't all be awesome.
I'd recommend the new Bond over this one or wait for Crank 2 in a few months because this one isn't worth seeing.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2/5
Twilight
I've read the entire Twilight quadrilogy. So I think I can give this film a fair assessment. With that being said I wouldn't call it a bad adaptation.
What it really does is show that the first novel (and the rest as well) have very little substance to it. The 2 hours fly by but nothing happens.
It's a vampire story about abstinence and it's really kind of pointless. Bella is a major skank virgin, she wants some vampire cock but he doesn't want to give it up.
The film works well enough and is one of the better vampire films yet lacks any real vampire action outside the finale.
The special effects are also kind of sad. A scene in the novel is where Edward shows Bella why he can't be out in sunshine. it seriously looks like they put glitter on his chest and in no way makes him super sparkle, like the novel suggests. Hell, if I say him in the daylight I'd think he was a gay dance queen.
Some of the other makeup is bad as well. Edward's "father" looks laughable. He's an uber pasty guy and looks way to odd. The theater even burst into laughter when he appeared for the first time.
Fans will love this movie but frankly, it has no real plot, no substance and if you're looking for the next harry Potter (which this film bumped into the summer) then you better not hold your breath.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2/5
What it really does is show that the first novel (and the rest as well) have very little substance to it. The 2 hours fly by but nothing happens.
It's a vampire story about abstinence and it's really kind of pointless. Bella is a major skank virgin, she wants some vampire cock but he doesn't want to give it up.
The film works well enough and is one of the better vampire films yet lacks any real vampire action outside the finale.
The special effects are also kind of sad. A scene in the novel is where Edward shows Bella why he can't be out in sunshine. it seriously looks like they put glitter on his chest and in no way makes him super sparkle, like the novel suggests. Hell, if I say him in the daylight I'd think he was a gay dance queen.
Some of the other makeup is bad as well. Edward's "father" looks laughable. He's an uber pasty guy and looks way to odd. The theater even burst into laughter when he appeared for the first time.
Fans will love this movie but frankly, it has no real plot, no substance and if you're looking for the next harry Potter (which this film bumped into the summer) then you better not hold your breath.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2/5
Garden Party (limited release)
I saw a trailer for this and really wanted to see it and like most movies worth two shits it got a very limited release and never came near me, unless you count the 2 hours drive into NYC as close.
Anyway, the film is about some teens growing up in Hollywood. I know, it doesn't sound interesting but it reminds me of a mix of Dawson's Creek meets Crash (the Oscar winner, not the sex flick).
The acting is fine, I really enjoyed the soundtrack and I was compelled for the entire film which is something few films have been able to do this year. I'd recommend a definite rental so once it hits dvd check it out.
Entertainment value - 3/5
movie - 4/5
Anyway, the film is about some teens growing up in Hollywood. I know, it doesn't sound interesting but it reminds me of a mix of Dawson's Creek meets Crash (the Oscar winner, not the sex flick).
The acting is fine, I really enjoyed the soundtrack and I was compelled for the entire film which is something few films have been able to do this year. I'd recommend a definite rental so once it hits dvd check it out.
Entertainment value - 3/5
movie - 4/5
Thursday, November 27, 2008
My Name is Bruce (Limited Release)
One of Bruce Campbell's biggest fans is out with some pals and unleash an evil Asian ghost who wants revenge on all relatives of the person who released him. Oddly enough we're in a small Oregon town where the entire population of 339 is all related. Well this fan takes it upon himself to go and kidnap Bruce Campbell himself to fight this monster. Problem is, Bruce is just an actor and he thinks this is a new film.
The films highlight is that it nevr takes itself seriously, the blood pours out and the dismembered hands go for boob grabs. There's even musical numbers and 4D moments. I have to say that while I'm a BC fan I find a lot of his movie choices to be ass. Bubba Ho-tep is a hated film of mine but god damn this movie is gold. I'll proudly put this one in my collection and cheesey horror fans and BC fans alike should check this one out.
Entertainment Value - 5/5
Movie - 4/5
The films highlight is that it nevr takes itself seriously, the blood pours out and the dismembered hands go for boob grabs. There's even musical numbers and 4D moments. I have to say that while I'm a BC fan I find a lot of his movie choices to be ass. Bubba Ho-tep is a hated film of mine but god damn this movie is gold. I'll proudly put this one in my collection and cheesey horror fans and BC fans alike should check this one out.
Entertainment Value - 5/5
Movie - 4/5
Passangers (limited release)
This movie came and went. It was a limited release with so little marketing I had only a vague remembrance of it. I wish it had stayed that way though because now I feel like I need my 90 minutes back.
It's not that it's a terrible film. No, it's just we've seen it fifty million times since The Sixth Sense (OMG SPOILERS) and frankly if you didn't see it coming then you're dumb.
The actors just fake their way through this, grin and bare it and move on. It won't be remembered, no one will go "dude/chick, you like so have to rent this" because no one will care. It exists and that's bad enough all on it's own.
entertainment value - 0/5
movie - 1/5
It's not that it's a terrible film. No, it's just we've seen it fifty million times since The Sixth Sense (OMG SPOILERS) and frankly if you didn't see it coming then you're dumb.
The actors just fake their way through this, grin and bare it and move on. It won't be remembered, no one will go "dude/chick, you like so have to rent this" because no one will care. It exists and that's bad enough all on it's own.
entertainment value - 0/5
movie - 1/5
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Bolt
As I've said many times before I am a huge Disney whore and actually this film looked highly amusing to me if not for the hamster awesome factor.
To be fair this is almost a carbon copy of the film "Firehouse Dog" but this is more about a dog who believes everything he does is real, think Truman Show in a dogs point of view and you know what? It works because some how the film is still able to tug the heart strings between the laughs.
Not original in the least but it was still a lot of fun. Don't bother with the 3D version (which is how I saw it) because it's barely used. I do recommend a viewing and kids should really enjoy themselves.
Entertainment Value - 4/5
movee - 4/5
To be fair this is almost a carbon copy of the film "Firehouse Dog" but this is more about a dog who believes everything he does is real, think Truman Show in a dogs point of view and you know what? It works because some how the film is still able to tug the heart strings between the laughs.
Not original in the least but it was still a lot of fun. Don't bother with the 3D version (which is how I saw it) because it's barely used. I do recommend a viewing and kids should really enjoy themselves.
Entertainment Value - 4/5
movee - 4/5
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Soul Men
Fuck you you fucking fucktard fucker. That may have been a line from this film. I have no problem with cursing in films, I use a lot of it in a day to day basis. However, it seems overly abundant in this film and for n real reason. As if a 13 year old wrote it.
Besides that it's a tired story, with sex jokes being the only mildly humorous moments in the entire film and a crap cast that annoys me. Yes, it features two now dead people but who cares...
Entertainment value - 0/5
movie - 1/5
Besides that it's a tired story, with sex jokes being the only mildly humorous moments in the entire film and a crap cast that annoys me. Yes, it features two now dead people but who cares...
Entertainment value - 0/5
movie - 1/5
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Fly Me To The Moon (limited release)
This film took 3 months to hit my theater where it played for 1 show a day for 2 weeks. That's it so I figured I'd never see it. Well I now have and I could have lived without it. Maybe it was better in 3d since I believe it's the first film to be made for 3D from the beginning.
It's a rather boring film. Never really goes anywhere and has no real plot. I could have gone without ever seeing this film but now I have. Not recommended at all. There was much kid films this year than this drivel so don't even bother renting it in a few weeks when it hits video stores.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
It's a rather boring film. Never really goes anywhere and has no real plot. I could have gone without ever seeing this film but now I have. Not recommended at all. There was much kid films this year than this drivel so don't even bother renting it in a few weeks when it hits video stores.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
Vacancy 2: The First Cut (advance DTV review, due in 2009)
I enjoyed the original Vacancy film. Sure it wasn't great or original but it was a fun watch, only ruined by a crappy ending but that's all too common these days.
With this film I'm unsure if it's a sequel or prequel but I'm guessing it's a prequel. The plot is ass, has almost nothing to do with the original besides location. The acting is bad, mainly the Asian cast in the beginning and things just went down from there.
I say avoid this film when it comes out a few months from now. There are so many better films to waste your life with than this one.
Entertainment Value - 0/5
Movie - .5 /5
With this film I'm unsure if it's a sequel or prequel but I'm guessing it's a prequel. The plot is ass, has almost nothing to do with the original besides location. The acting is bad, mainly the Asian cast in the beginning and things just went down from there.
I say avoid this film when it comes out a few months from now. There are so many better films to waste your life with than this one.
Entertainment Value - 0/5
Movie - .5 /5
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
I find Kevin Smith to be hit or miss. His films are either piss your pants funny or groan worthy. Thankfully this film leans more towards the piss your pants funny. Two long time friends decide to make a porno so they can afford their rent, heat and power.
It's a rom com at it's core but it also tries to be as dirty as it can. Simulated sex is all over and it's down right funny. The one liners tend to zing and some had me keeping track of how god damn funny they were.
I highly recommend this one. Seth Rogan tends to rock in everything he touches lately and he's just perfect as the average joe. Might be leaning towards being typecast but I don't think so just yet.
Entertainment Value - 4/5
Movie - 4/5
It's a rom com at it's core but it also tries to be as dirty as it can. Simulated sex is all over and it's down right funny. The one liners tend to zing and some had me keeping track of how god damn funny they were.
I highly recommend this one. Seth Rogan tends to rock in everything he touches lately and he's just perfect as the average joe. Might be leaning towards being typecast but I don't think so just yet.
Entertainment Value - 4/5
Movie - 4/5
Saturday, November 15, 2008
The Dutchess
Knightley so needs to get out of her type casted roles because I'm sick of seeing her playing some chick in some old time period. It's boring and over down and when you do it every time, it truly feels like the same film over and over again.
And that's what this film feels like. A rehash of every single one before it. A mix of The Countess and The other Bolyne Girl. It's just meh... I have nothing else to say about it.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2/5
And that's what this film feels like. A rehash of every single one before it. A mix of The Countess and The other Bolyne Girl. It's just meh... I have nothing else to say about it.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2/5
The House Bunny
Ah, yet another movie that has lead to my almost failure. Not that I have any hope of seeing every major release by December 31st but one can dream.
Anyway, I actually wanted to see this. I like Anna Farris. However, it just didn't do anything for me. It's a tired plot. Person tries to save something, has secrets, someone lies ect. Nothing original here but a few of the jokes works.
I really have nothing else to say. It's a big let down but not a horrible film. It just kind of exists out there.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2/5
Anyway, I actually wanted to see this. I like Anna Farris. However, it just didn't do anything for me. It's a tired plot. Person tries to save something, has secrets, someone lies ect. Nothing original here but a few of the jokes works.
I really have nothing else to say. It's a big let down but not a horrible film. It just kind of exists out there.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2/5
Role Models
I like the cast of this film. SWS is rather funny and Cook tends to be enjoyable. So I had moderate hopes for this one and while it isn't laugh your ass off funny, it's entertaining enough.
It does enough right to stay original and not feel like a total clone but it still has moments where I felt like I'd seen it so many times before and sure a few things are just twisted around versions of another (IE, the battle scenes felt like another movie that had civil war reenactments in it, just can't remember what movie)
Either way it's worth a viewing but perhaps on video.
entertainment value - 3.5 /5
movie - 3/5
It does enough right to stay original and not feel like a total clone but it still has moments where I felt like I'd seen it so many times before and sure a few things are just twisted around versions of another (IE, the battle scenes felt like another movie that had civil war reenactments in it, just can't remember what movie)
Either way it's worth a viewing but perhaps on video.
entertainment value - 3.5 /5
movie - 3/5
Monday, November 10, 2008
007: Quantum of Solace
I love Bond. I'm a pretty big fan. With that being said this was my second most anticipated film of 2008. Only beaten by the new Harry Potter which was pushed until summer 2009.
Well, guess what? This was a total let down. It feels nothing like a bond film and more like a film along the lines of "The Transporter", which oddly enough is being released this month.
Classic Bond lines and characters are missing. it's the shortest film in the series long run and while the action is none stop balls to the walls, it just feels like there is nothing else to it.
Entertainment Value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Well, guess what? This was a total let down. It feels nothing like a bond film and more like a film along the lines of "The Transporter", which oddly enough is being released this month.
Classic Bond lines and characters are missing. it's the shortest film in the series long run and while the action is none stop balls to the walls, it just feels like there is nothing else to it.
Entertainment Value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa
I didn't care for the original Madagascar film but hey, second times the charm right? Well, kind of I guess. The highlight yet again is the Move It Move It number but thankfully it happens in the first 10 minutes.
My main problem with the film, besides being somewhat boring is that it feels like the longest animated film ever and really, it's kind of short.
It's far from the entertainment value that Wall-E provided but it was okay. I can't recommend a theatrical viewing but dvd should be fine. You could do betetr and worse.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2.5 /5
My main problem with the film, besides being somewhat boring is that it feels like the longest animated film ever and really, it's kind of short.
It's far from the entertainment value that Wall-E provided but it was okay. I can't recommend a theatrical viewing but dvd should be fine. You could do betetr and worse.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Open Season 2 (bonus review)
I didn't like the original but hey this one has more focus on Mr. Wiener which amusing me greatly. Sadly the animation is a load of ass and I can't even describe how odd it all looks. Like a cross between 2d, 3d and cell shading and then mixed as it went down the shitter.
Kids may enjoy the film but I found it annoying how each animal had to have a fake accent which some were borderline offensive but hey it's America, we can may as racist as we want but show us some tits and we freak out.
NOTE: there are no tits in the film Open Season 2. It just sucks all around and shouldn't never enter your dvd player. Don't allow your children to watch crap.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
movie - 1/5
Kids may enjoy the film but I found it annoying how each animal had to have a fake accent which some were borderline offensive but hey it's America, we can may as racist as we want but show us some tits and we freak out.
NOTE: there are no tits in the film Open Season 2. It just sucks all around and shouldn't never enter your dvd player. Don't allow your children to watch crap.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
movie - 1/5
How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
Simon Pegg is a comedy god. I love Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Two of the funniest movies I've seen. This movie also had me inetrested with his Hollywood-esq theme and rules. However it really isn't very funny.
I found Pegg's character to be more annoying than anything else. The plot is paper thin and is exactly the same as ever rom com before it. You know where it's going, where it will end and what will happen along the way.
I say pass it all the way. Not worth seeing.
Entertainment Value - .5 /5
Movie - 1/5
I found Pegg's character to be more annoying than anything else. The plot is paper thin and is exactly the same as ever rom com before it. You know where it's going, where it will end and what will happen along the way.
I say pass it all the way. Not worth seeing.
Entertainment Value - .5 /5
Movie - 1/5
Friday, November 7, 2008
Quarantine
For my recent horror film challenge I was the original film (REC). While this is pretty much a shot by shot remake, it went into production while the original was just finishing up so not a true technical remake but it still is.
Oddly enough the original is still a vastly superior film. The acting is stronger. You like the main character in (REC) but in Quarantine Dexter's sister just hams it up and it becomes very cheesy.
I found the original downright scary while this one uses very weak noises and other things that don't deliver. The scream of the old lady was bone chilling in the original while it's laughable in this one. The films trailer not only ruins the ending (as does the poster art) but it runs any twist the movie had going for it.
So all in all this is a subpar film. I highly recommend (REC) over this one so I'd say pass this one up unless you're desperate for something just okay...
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2/5
Oddly enough the original is still a vastly superior film. The acting is stronger. You like the main character in (REC) but in Quarantine Dexter's sister just hams it up and it becomes very cheesy.
I found the original downright scary while this one uses very weak noises and other things that don't deliver. The scream of the old lady was bone chilling in the original while it's laughable in this one. The films trailer not only ruins the ending (as does the poster art) but it runs any twist the movie had going for it.
So all in all this is a subpar film. I highly recommend (REC) over this one so I'd say pass this one up unless you're desperate for something just okay...
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2/5
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
House
I never heard of this film and passed it over as a direct to video movie. However I guess it isn't. It's an okay film. Based off a book of the same name by the guy who wrote Monster. I've read Monster but not House but let me tell you, 20 minutes into the film I realized how this movie was going to go.
I can respect that religious people want blood and guts as much as the next. Monster was a fine enough book if not for the heavy Catholic themes. Well, House, which is about a character named the tinman hunting two couples down in a house, could have been awesome and it does a few things okay.
Until the "plot twist" where it's revealed that OH MY GOD they are satanists!!!!... Yeah... Okay... Thanks for wasting my time...
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 2/5
I can respect that religious people want blood and guts as much as the next. Monster was a fine enough book if not for the heavy Catholic themes. Well, House, which is about a character named the tinman hunting two couples down in a house, could have been awesome and it does a few things okay.
Until the "plot twist" where it's revealed that OH MY GOD they are satanists!!!!... Yeah... Okay... Thanks for wasting my time...
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 2/5
Expelled
This was one of those films that came out of nowhere and yet my theater did get it. It's a documentary that while I wouldn't say it's worth watching, it's still an entertaining film. if it's your cup of tea.
It's basically a documentary about science vs religion but it doesn't really seem to bash one side or the other and tries to give a fair view of it all. Either way watch it if you can on video, unless you're a religious zealot then please avoid it because I don't want emails from you.
Entertainment Value - 3/5
Movie - 3/5
It's basically a documentary about science vs religion but it doesn't really seem to bash one side or the other and tries to give a fair view of it all. Either way watch it if you can on video, unless you're a religious zealot then please avoid it because I don't want emails from you.
Entertainment Value - 3/5
Movie - 3/5
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Body of Lies
I like Crowe as an actor. I love Decaprio post Titanic and Ridley Scott is an awesome director but how does this film fail? Well, I'll blame it on a been there done that plot line. It reminds me of Spygames from a number of years ago with Redford and perhaps Pitt?
Anyway, it's a tired plot with a great cast that does a fine job but even the directing feels half assed and rushed. I wouldn't bother with this one. It did nothing for me.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 2/5
Anyway, it's a tired plot with a great cast that does a fine job but even the directing feels half assed and rushed. I wouldn't bother with this one. It did nothing for me.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 2/5
The Secret Life of Bees
I really enjoyed the novel this film is based on. I was annoyed right away by trailers ruining the endings yet again. Seriously Hollywood, the film should be able to stand on it's first half hour being shown in the trailers. Leave the good stuff for when yuo go to see it.
With that being said I think the film did a fine job bringing the book to the big screen. It's not perfect and while the acting is good I felt the musical bits were forced for the sake of whatever her name is from American Idol.
I don't know what else to say. It's a total chick flick about coming to terms and blah blah blah. Nice date movie and I'd recommend a video rental if nothing else.
Entertainment Value - 3/5
Movie - 3.5 /5
With that being said I think the film did a fine job bringing the book to the big screen. It's not perfect and while the acting is good I felt the musical bits were forced for the sake of whatever her name is from American Idol.
I don't know what else to say. It's a total chick flick about coming to terms and blah blah blah. Nice date movie and I'd recommend a video rental if nothing else.
Entertainment Value - 3/5
Movie - 3.5 /5
Monday, November 3, 2008
Pride & Glory
Stop me if you've heard this before. A good cop bad cop family affair. Have you seen this before? Most likely and the biggest shame is that the cast is wasted. Granted I hate Colin Ferrall (why must he continue to attempt this "acting" thing he does?
Anyway, the film is so predictable and been there done that, that it just isn't worth the time to watch it. I was bored and restless the entire time, waiting for something original to happen and it never does.
PASS
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
Anyway, the film is so predictable and been there done that, that it just isn't worth the time to watch it. I was bored and restless the entire time, waiting for something original to happen and it never does.
PASS
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
Beer for my Horses (LIMITED RELEASE)
I dislike Toby Keith a lot. I enjoy some of his older music but as I person I think he's a flaming hemorrhoid. But hey, at least he can act right? Well no and making a film based off a crap song doesn't come off as a good idea either.
I would love to tell you what this film was about but I don't know. Granted I watched it over a week ago but my thoughts after it ended were "What was that movie about". The only thing still clear in my mind is a random scene of a white guy in a stall in the mens room singing while he pees and a group of black men are otuside harmonizing and he comes out and continues his soulful signing... Seriously...
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
I would love to tell you what this film was about but I don't know. Granted I watched it over a week ago but my thoughts after it ended were "What was that movie about". The only thing still clear in my mind is a random scene of a white guy in a stall in the mens room singing while he pees and a group of black men are otuside harmonizing and he comes out and continues his soulful signing... Seriously...
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
November Release Dates
Some hits and misses here. We'll see how it all turns out. I'm behind for October and I still need to see one from August. Pretty caught up on limited releases though.
7th - soul men
7th - Madagascar 2
7th - role models
7th - house
14th - quantum of solace
21st - bolt
21st - Twilight
26th - four Christmases
26th - Australia
28th - transporter 3
Miracle of St. Anna
I actually watched this one today so it's fresher in my mind than my last 5 or so reviews but still. I find Spike Lee to be an arrogant douchbag. I did like Sumemr of Sam, which his fans hate and I admit it isn't exactly a good film either.
Well, with this movie I just couldn't get into it. It's too long, too slow and I just didn't care. The acting at times was painful and the dialog is rather bland and uninteresting.
I say pass this one up. Don't even bother with the dvd, he's made better films than this.
entertainment value - 1/5
movie 1.5/5
Well, with this movie I just couldn't get into it. It's too long, too slow and I just didn't care. The acting at times was painful and the dialog is rather bland and uninteresting.
I say pass this one up. Don't even bother with the dvd, he's made better films than this.
entertainment value - 1/5
movie 1.5/5
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Appaloosa
I'm on a losing streak here guys. I'm not a western fan but I've seen a few good ones recently due to the IMDB top 250 and a few of the recent ones have been good as well. This one falls into a gray area really.
it kind of just exsists. I would never see it again. It's far from being worth while and the acting is stiff at times. I like the cast though and it looks pretty good but in the past 2 years we got much better westerns.
A near dead genre for sure but a good western is one that actually entertains me and this one didn't. Fans of the genre should rent it but it isn't worth the theatrical price.
entertainment value - 1/5
movie - 2/5
it kind of just exsists. I would never see it again. It's far from being worth while and the acting is stiff at times. I like the cast though and it looks pretty good but in the past 2 years we got much better westerns.
A near dead genre for sure but a good western is one that actually entertains me and this one didn't. Fans of the genre should rent it but it isn't worth the theatrical price.
entertainment value - 1/5
movie - 2/5
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Blindness
After seeing the trailers for Blindness I was claiming it as the second coming of Children of Men. The film that will take all the Oscars or be robbed of them. Then I saw the film and really couldn't care less now.
The acting is decent to bad, more decent than horrid but still, it's not good to have terrible actign in spots.
The plot is inetresting. So much so that I think I'd rather check the novel out. Imagine if a white blindness hit and made almost everyone in the world blind (or somewhat close to it) and you're the only seeing person (because of your husbands blindness) and you lead them through their life.
It's an interesting concept but it never seems to know what it wants to be. Soft core porn? A little adult Salo going on. It feels all over the place and the pacing makes this 2 hour movie feel like 5.
it's a shame to because the plot is inetresting at first and then just dies away. I say give this one a pass.
Entertainment value - 1/5
movie 1/5
The acting is decent to bad, more decent than horrid but still, it's not good to have terrible actign in spots.
The plot is inetresting. So much so that I think I'd rather check the novel out. Imagine if a white blindness hit and made almost everyone in the world blind (or somewhat close to it) and you're the only seeing person (because of your husbands blindness) and you lead them through their life.
It's an interesting concept but it never seems to know what it wants to be. Soft core porn? A little adult Salo going on. It feels all over the place and the pacing makes this 2 hour movie feel like 5.
it's a shame to because the plot is inetresting at first and then just dies away. I say give this one a pass.
Entertainment value - 1/5
movie 1/5
Sunday, October 26, 2008
W
I'm not a huge fan of Bush but again I hate Oliver Stone with a passion as I find him to be a talentless hack. But hey, it's Hollywood and they greenlight anything.
With that being said I didn't want to see W. I thought it was a joke actually when I saw the poster. Well, at least the acting is decent, if not a little off.
The problem with a biopic is that Bush is still alive, he's a very common figure in American's life for the past 8 or so years and we've all heard the "facts". Who cares? I don't and this film felt like a total waste of my time but hey, so did Stone's other films so what does it matter, people still watch his piles of shit.
entertainment value - 1/5
movie - 1/5
With that being said I didn't want to see W. I thought it was a joke actually when I saw the poster. Well, at least the acting is decent, if not a little off.
The problem with a biopic is that Bush is still alive, he's a very common figure in American's life for the past 8 or so years and we've all heard the "facts". Who cares? I don't and this film felt like a total waste of my time but hey, so did Stone's other films so what does it matter, people still watch his piles of shit.
entertainment value - 1/5
movie - 1/5
Friday, October 24, 2008
High School Musical 3: Senior Year
It's no secret so I'll wave my freak flag here. I love High School Musical. It's so bad it's good and it feels like a clean kid friendly rocky horror minus the goth, transvestites and whatever. It just brings the cheese.
And that's okay. I've said this before but the writer/director/choreographer (it's the same guy) is a bloody genius. The lyrics are classic, the dance moves are just awe inspiring (in a so bad it's good). I will admit the tire moves were really sweet.
Efron has an awesome solo near the ending that has a Jamiraqua flavor to it that totally beats out the golf couse scene from the second film.
It's not a "good" movie when judged by the basics but it's a damn fun movie and it's a highlight of the fall. Easily the best film of october.
Entertainment Value - 5/5
movie - 4.5 /5
And that's okay. I've said this before but the writer/director/choreographer (it's the same guy) is a bloody genius. The lyrics are classic, the dance moves are just awe inspiring (in a so bad it's good). I will admit the tire moves were really sweet.
Efron has an awesome solo near the ending that has a Jamiraqua flavor to it that totally beats out the golf couse scene from the second film.
It's not a "good" movie when judged by the basics but it's a damn fun movie and it's a highlight of the fall. Easily the best film of october.
Entertainment Value - 5/5
movie - 4.5 /5
Saw V
Let me give you a brief run down of my Saw addiction. I've seen them all on opening day. Not only that but I hated the first one, it's a terrible film that is liked because of it's ending because the writing and acting are some of the worst to grace the sivlerscreen ever. Thought manos was bad? See the first Saw film.
I then lvoed Saw 2 and 3. 4, while good, was a bit too confusing for its own good. V picks up seconds after the 4th one ended and this time around it's kind of like a game of cat and mouse. Fine says I but the problem is that the trap hallway feels stupid and one character does something early on and then fucks it up for no reason.
The biggest flaw is the ending which is so full of ass words can't begin to describe it. The poster claimed it was an ending you couldn't believe. Yeah, I can't believe that was the ending because it ends out of nowhere, not even delivering a twist and then the credits roll and we wait a year for Saw VI, which is being casted via the VH1 show "Scream Queens", which is oddly enough highly amusing.
Entertainment value - 3/5
movie - 2/5
I then lvoed Saw 2 and 3. 4, while good, was a bit too confusing for its own good. V picks up seconds after the 4th one ended and this time around it's kind of like a game of cat and mouse. Fine says I but the problem is that the trap hallway feels stupid and one character does something early on and then fucks it up for no reason.
The biggest flaw is the ending which is so full of ass words can't begin to describe it. The poster claimed it was an ending you couldn't believe. Yeah, I can't believe that was the ending because it ends out of nowhere, not even delivering a twist and then the credits roll and we wait a year for Saw VI, which is being casted via the VH1 show "Scream Queens", which is oddly enough highly amusing.
Entertainment value - 3/5
movie - 2/5
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Nights In Rodanthe
I wanted to see this movie after I saw the preview. Yes, I hated the Notebook but this one looked good... Yeah, I should always stereotype authors because this did nothing for me.
Cut and paste run of the mill film with nothing new to offer at all. While the film offers some solid performances from the two leads I just couldn't have cared less about then.
And this film is a fine example of why my review blog is so far behind :( I saw this like 2-3 weeks ago :(
entertainment value - 2/5
movie - 2/5
Cut and paste run of the mill film with nothing new to offer at all. While the film offers some solid performances from the two leads I just couldn't have cared less about then.
And this film is a fine example of why my review blog is so far behind :( I saw this like 2-3 weeks ago :(
entertainment value - 2/5
movie - 2/5
Sex Drive
I had a vague inetrst in this film. It looked like Road Trip which I actually enjoyed a lot. During my Katie stalking attempt 3 I decided to see this in NYC ($12 for a mat is absurd).
Anyway, while it wasn't worth the $12 admission it's a pretty good film. It does a lot right. The jokes come often and while some things become predictable or a bit too silly, it never takes itself too serious.
I laughed a lot, the audience as a whole laughed a lot and you can't really ask for much more from a comedy. The film contains a poop joke but no fart joke so that is a plus.
Either way I'd recommend this for a quick viewing in the theater or wait for video but it was still fairly amusing.
Entertainment Value - 4/5
movie - 3.5 /5
Anyway, while it wasn't worth the $12 admission it's a pretty good film. It does a lot right. The jokes come often and while some things become predictable or a bit too silly, it never takes itself too serious.
I laughed a lot, the audience as a whole laughed a lot and you can't really ask for much more from a comedy. The film contains a poop joke but no fart joke so that is a plus.
Either way I'd recommend this for a quick viewing in the theater or wait for video but it was still fairly amusing.
Entertainment Value - 4/5
movie - 3.5 /5
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The Express
I dislike sports. I lso dislike overused plot devies. A mentally challenged African American is a super star football player and based on a true story or not I couldn't help but not give a flying fuck. Seriously, it's absurd that people pay to see these movies over and over.
Guess what? It ends the same way as it did in the last. Inspirational my ass. Subpar acting, tired trends and I can't even recommend looking at the poster for this crap. Stop falling for it people.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
Guess what? It ends the same way as it did in the last. Inspirational my ass. Subpar acting, tired trends and I can't even recommend looking at the poster for this crap. Stop falling for it people.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
Monday, October 20, 2008
Burn After Reading
I love the Coen Brothers and I regret taking so long to see this but I've been busy and hey, the theater is now flooded with steaming piles so it seemed like a good time to catch this one.
I wouldn't say it's their best movie and it's no oh brother but it's still an amusing film. The cast is awesome and does a great job. Some of the lines are pure gold. I felt the ending was a little weak as a whole but it was still a very entertaining film so it well rounded in all areas.
Entertainment Value - 4/5
movie - 4/5
I wouldn't say it's their best movie and it's no oh brother but it's still an amusing film. The cast is awesome and does a great job. Some of the lines are pure gold. I felt the ending was a little weak as a whole but it was still a very entertaining film so it well rounded in all areas.
Entertainment Value - 4/5
movie - 4/5
My best Friends Girl
I thought I saw this movie last year. Maybe it was a trailer and the film just was put on a shelf somewhere. it doesn't matter though because it sucked. I'm all for R rated comedy but the f bomb keeps being dropped for no reason. It isn't even realistic, almost as if it was added in post.
The story is simple. Guy loves girl but isnt getting anywhere so he hires someone to show them how big a jerk hot guys are and so she'll become interested in our hero.
Can you guess what ends up happening? What about the ending, can you guess? Seriously, who green lights this crap. It's not original in the least and has nothing going for it but a cast that is wasted.
entertainment value - 0/5
movie - .5 /5
The story is simple. Guy loves girl but isnt getting anywhere so he hires someone to show them how big a jerk hot guys are and so she'll become interested in our hero.
Can you guess what ends up happening? What about the ending, can you guess? Seriously, who green lights this crap. It's not original in the least and has nothing going for it but a cast that is wasted.
entertainment value - 0/5
movie - .5 /5
Max Payne
I didn't care for the games and this looked like a bleh film but it had a decent cast so I figured I'd go along for the ride. Yeah... It sucked. Besides some pretty cgi (kind of SIn City but not as good) and with a crap plot and crap everything else, it was just a total bore.
I will admit I thought this was a retelling of the original game, however it's part of a plot for the next game which I think is a dumb idea because I wouldn't want to play this turd.
That's all. I have nothing else to say about this movie. The trend continues with crappy movies based on games...
entertainment Value - 1.5 /5
movie - 1/5
I will admit I thought this was a retelling of the original game, however it's part of a plot for the next game which I think is a dumb idea because I wouldn't want to play this turd.
That's all. I have nothing else to say about this movie. The trend continues with crappy movies based on games...
entertainment Value - 1.5 /5
movie - 1/5
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Kitt Kittridge: An American Girl
This was my original downfall. The first film of the year that I missed but hey, I've got it now, just many months later.
You know what, I wanted this movie to burn in the pits of hell and then I watched it... God I can't believe I'm about to admit this but it wasn't that bad. Not good, I'll never see it again but still it was okay.
Little girls will love it. No one else will but that's okay because it suits the target audience. performances are decent, if not amusing at times for all the wrong reasons.
entertainment value - 2/5
movie - 2/5
You know what, I wanted this movie to burn in the pits of hell and then I watched it... God I can't believe I'm about to admit this but it wasn't that bad. Not good, I'll never see it again but still it was okay.
Little girls will love it. No one else will but that's okay because it suits the target audience. performances are decent, if not amusing at times for all the wrong reasons.
entertainment value - 2/5
movie - 2/5
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Return to Sleepaway Camp (advance bonus review)
The original Sleepaway Camp films weren't very good. Mediocre at best and the original was only good for it's shocker ending which still haunts everyone to this day.
The original director is back for this film, which was filmed near me actually and I never knew. The problem with the film is that it not only stays true to the 80's feel of the originals but it lacks anything redeeming.
The gore is okay, only two deaths stuck out. One involving bunk beds (which could have been done better) and a Jeep death. The problem is that the deaths feel way to complicated to be possible to pull off on the spur of the moment. The Jeep one is rather complex and I can't fathom how it happened.
Fans will enjoy some cameos but the filsm biggest flaw is the questionable killer. Could the killer eb the fat annoying retard, at least I think he is retarded? Well, it doesn't matter because he is so annoying I wanted to burn the movie and every copy of it.
My other problem is the ending. The twist is so predictable that the retard mentioned in the last paragraph could have seen it coming from the first possible point. Oh well...
Entertainment Value - 1/5
movie - 0/5
The original director is back for this film, which was filmed near me actually and I never knew. The problem with the film is that it not only stays true to the 80's feel of the originals but it lacks anything redeeming.
The gore is okay, only two deaths stuck out. One involving bunk beds (which could have been done better) and a Jeep death. The problem is that the deaths feel way to complicated to be possible to pull off on the spur of the moment. The Jeep one is rather complex and I can't fathom how it happened.
Fans will enjoy some cameos but the filsm biggest flaw is the questionable killer. Could the killer eb the fat annoying retard, at least I think he is retarded? Well, it doesn't matter because he is so annoying I wanted to burn the movie and every copy of it.
My other problem is the ending. The twist is so predictable that the retard mentioned in the last paragraph could have seen it coming from the first possible point. Oh well...
Entertainment Value - 1/5
movie - 0/5
Midnight Meat Train
I couldn't wait for this movie. i have a soft spot for Clive Barker and it looked pretty bloody. Well, it never left NY/LA so I didn't get the chance and you know what, that's okay because it's a hit or a miss really.
The film has blood and gore going for it but the problem is that the film feels like a rehash on itself and the ending, while grusome felt a bit too predictable, as if I'd seen it all before.
I would only recommend this to the die hard horror fans out there. otherwise I'd pass ebcause it really isn't anything special. The gore is good though.
Entertainment Value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2/5
The film has blood and gore going for it but the problem is that the film feels like a rehash on itself and the ending, while grusome felt a bit too predictable, as if I'd seen it all before.
I would only recommend this to the die hard horror fans out there. otherwise I'd pass ebcause it really isn't anything special. The gore is good though.
Entertainment Value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2/5
Monday, October 6, 2008
Beverly Hills Chihuahua
The original trailer made this look like a romantic dog comedy musical. Instead it's a ho-hum lady and the tramp story we have seen a hundred times. It's a mediocre effort all around and it's kind of sad that it opened at number one ebcause yes, American's are dumb enough to pay to see this recycled poo.
Oh well, kids should enjoy it and I guess there have been some worse films this year. it doesn't exactly have any redeeming values but it doesn't exactly offend my soul so I'll let this one slide through. Not recommended in either direction. Just meh...
Entertainment value - 2/5
Movie - 2/5
Oh well, kids should enjoy it and I guess there have been some worse films this year. it doesn't exactly have any redeeming values but it doesn't exactly offend my soul so I'll let this one slide through. Not recommended in either direction. Just meh...
Entertainment value - 2/5
Movie - 2/5
Friday, October 3, 2008
Choke
From the writer of Fight Club we get Choke. It's about a man who is a sex addict, he chokes on food to get money from people and works as a guide at a historical area to pay for his demented mothers care at a facility.
It's the typical thing you'd expect from Chuck and it really does work. The trailers had me worried but after sitting down to this a lot of the novel came back to me and it stays fairly close to the source material.
While it isn't for everyone this low budget film is highly entertaining and amusing. The audience seemed to enjoy it and the twists and turns are both shocking and hysterical all at the same time.
Entertainment Value - 3/5
Movie - 3.5/5
It's the typical thing you'd expect from Chuck and it really does work. The trailers had me worried but after sitting down to this a lot of the novel came back to me and it stays fairly close to the source material.
While it isn't for everyone this low budget film is highly entertaining and amusing. The audience seemed to enjoy it and the twists and turns are both shocking and hysterical all at the same time.
Entertainment Value - 3/5
Movie - 3.5/5
Fireproof
I want to thank the makers of this film because if it wasn't for this film I wouldn't have found Jesus. Yes, it's only be out a week but ti made me realize the importance of having Christ as my one and only savior.
If you haven't seen this film then you are already a sinner and will be banished to the pits of hell where you belong. The film is about a married couple. The wife wants to leave him (he's the dude from family ties or growing pains or something). And he turns to christ to help him find his way and win his woman back. Such a beautiful and touching story.
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If you believed that load of shit then you should die. This film is horrid,shoves Christ down your throat and wants you to take it like a god damn porn star. The writing is trite and riddled with cliches. The audience I saw this with loved it, laughed at the lameass jokes and were pleased when he was saved by Christ.
So FUCK YOU JESUS FREAKS. Crap like this needs to stay out of the theaters, I have no problems with religious films but these holy roller ones suck ass. Keep it at your church meetings.
entertainment value - 0/5
movie - 0/5
If you haven't seen this film then you are already a sinner and will be banished to the pits of hell where you belong. The film is about a married couple. The wife wants to leave him (he's the dude from family ties or growing pains or something). And he turns to christ to help him find his way and win his woman back. Such a beautiful and touching story.
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If you believed that load of shit then you should die. This film is horrid,shoves Christ down your throat and wants you to take it like a god damn porn star. The writing is trite and riddled with cliches. The audience I saw this with loved it, laughed at the lameass jokes and were pleased when he was saved by Christ.
So FUCK YOU JESUS FREAKS. Crap like this needs to stay out of the theaters, I have no problems with religious films but these holy roller ones suck ass. Keep it at your church meetings.
entertainment value - 0/5
movie - 0/5
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Igor
Back in the Spring I was at the NEw York comic con. They had flyers for this film all over. I had never heard of it and then never heard of it again until it actually hit theaters.
It's not a very good film. It's not funny, it reminds me of a fake Nightmare Before Christmas. There is even a character that looks almost spot on as the Mayor...
The animation is subpar, the singing annoying and the ploy of clcihes is more annoying than smart. Adults may find the suicidal bunny a bit too morbid as well but whatever, either way it's a meh film all around.
entertainment value - 1/5
movie - 1/5
It's not a very good film. It's not funny, it reminds me of a fake Nightmare Before Christmas. There is even a character that looks almost spot on as the Mayor...
The animation is subpar, the singing annoying and the ploy of clcihes is more annoying than smart. Adults may find the suicidal bunny a bit too morbid as well but whatever, either way it's a meh film all around.
entertainment value - 1/5
movie - 1/5
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
October Release Dates
Well, the month of horror is here and well... I haven't even looked at the list so let's jump in, I bet it sucks anyway...
Actually, god damn wtf is with the 3rd O_o
3rd - Beverly Hills Chihuahua
3rd - Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
3rd - Blindness
3rd - how to lose friends and alienate people
3rd - Flash of Genius
10th - Quarantine
10th - body of lies
10th - city of ember
17th - w.
17th - sex drive
17th - max payne
17th - secret life of bees
24th - high school musical 3 (OMG YAYZ)
24th - saw 5
24th - pride and glory
31st - The Haunting of Molly Hartley
31st - Zack and Miri Make a Porno
So, besides a few films at the end of the month and Blindness it appears to eba very crowded and crappy month. Yay...
Actually, god damn wtf is with the 3rd O_o
3rd - Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
3rd - Flash of Genius
31st - The Haunting of Molly Hartley
So, besides a few films at the end of the month and Blindness it appears to eba very crowded and crappy month. Yay...
The Rocker
OMG... I never thought I'd see this (well this and Kitt Kittridge but that's hitting dvd soon yay..). Anyway, I had a few chances to see this one in the theater and I passed on it ever time ebcause it looked terrible.
And it indeed is bad. not worst film ever but it's not very good. The only thing I found amusing was the way they get discovered on youtube, which is even funnier because the video would have been deleted for adult content but whatever I guess...
Still, Raine Wilson isn't funny in this and judging by Juno and the Office he's only good when fed awesome lines which is a shame. Another amusing this is the band in the begining, the lead singer, I swear he looked like Ashton Kutcher but it sin't O_o
Anyway, skip this one. Not even worth a dvd rental. Now odner it was out of the theater in 2 weeks.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
And it indeed is bad. not worst film ever but it's not very good. The only thing I found amusing was the way they get discovered on youtube, which is even funnier because the video would have been deleted for adult content but whatever I guess...
Still, Raine Wilson isn't funny in this and judging by Juno and the Office he's only good when fed awesome lines which is a shame. Another amusing this is the band in the begining, the lead singer, I swear he looked like Ashton Kutcher but it sin't O_o
Anyway, skip this one. Not even worth a dvd rental. Now odner it was out of the theater in 2 weeks.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Eagle Eye
I actually wanted to see this film. Looked like a fun mindless film. Well, I guess it got mindless right but I found it all to be kind of dull.
Government conspiracy, evil satellites, computers and two heroes on the run. It's so meh and it never goes anywhere and that's the films biggest flaw. It has something but never uses it to its advantage.
It really reminds me of the film "Stealth" and anyone who has seen that movie will tell you that it is never worth seeing. Saying Eagle Eye is wortha video rental would be pressing it ebcause frankly, it just kind of exists.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
Government conspiracy, evil satellites, computers and two heroes on the run. It's so meh and it never goes anywhere and that's the films biggest flaw. It has something but never uses it to its advantage.
It really reminds me of the film "Stealth" and anyone who has seen that movie will tell you that it is never worth seeing. Saying Eagle Eye is wortha video rental would be pressing it ebcause frankly, it just kind of exists.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
Friday, September 26, 2008
Joy Ride 2 (advance bonus review)
I love the original Joy Ride. A total guilty pleasure and I'm okay with admitting I own it and have seen it a number of times. I was actually excited for this sequel despite going DTV (which is rarely a good sign. Thankfully the film could have been a theatrical release if it wasn't for the iffy last 10 minutes or so (shot wise, special effects and basic plot problems).
It's a shame to because I'd almost say this is better than the original. Four friends end up "borrow" a vehicle for a quick JoY Ride and they piss off Rustynail, a truck driver. It's a simple plot but it becomes a game of cat and mouse (much like the original) but instead it's way more deadly and the games and gore are pretty good. The rod scene looks a bit fake but oh well.
I'd highly recommend this to fans of the original or someone looking for a decent thriller. It's better than a lot of the stuff we've gotten in the theater this year.
Entertainment Value - 3.5 /5
Movie - 3.5 /5
It's a shame to because I'd almost say this is better than the original. Four friends end up "borrow" a vehicle for a quick JoY Ride and they piss off Rustynail, a truck driver. It's a simple plot but it becomes a game of cat and mouse (much like the original) but instead it's way more deadly and the games and gore are pretty good. The rod scene looks a bit fake but oh well.
I'd highly recommend this to fans of the original or someone looking for a decent thriller. It's better than a lot of the stuff we've gotten in the theater this year.
Entertainment Value - 3.5 /5
Movie - 3.5 /5
Rest Stop 2 (advance bonus review)
I didn't care much for the original film. This film some how corrects every problem the original had, screws up the things the original did do well and gives us such a crap ending that I can't even fathom why I bothered with this title.
When a DTV title gets a DTV sequel you should just know it won't be good but I'm just in the mood for horror films (which is a good thing, where the hell is Midnight Meat Train? god damn limited releases...)
The acting is subpar and the plot picks up 1 year after the original. The brother of the dude from the first decides to hunt for him. He teams up with his best bud and his chick. A lot is explained about the original but the whole eyeball thing was so absurd I can't imagine the brainstorming for that crap...
entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 1.5 /5
When a DTV title gets a DTV sequel you should just know it won't be good but I'm just in the mood for horror films (which is a good thing, where the hell is Midnight Meat Train? god damn limited releases...)
The acting is subpar and the plot picks up 1 year after the original. The brother of the dude from the first decides to hunt for him. He teams up with his best bud and his chick. A lot is explained about the original but the whole eyeball thing was so absurd I can't imagine the brainstorming for that crap...
entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 1.5 /5
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Lakeview Terrace
I hate Sam jackson. He's a god awful actor that some how is loved by bajillions. Whatever, he sucks. I had no interest in this film. I do like Patrick Wilson but he keeps picking crap roles these days.
Plot is simple. a bi-racial couple moves next door to a cop who may or may not be bad. The film itself wouldn't be as bad as it is was it not for the final 10 minutes which throws the entire film under a bus and then pisses upon it.
It's rare for an ending to ruin a film but I felt the ending to this one just takes away everything the film, and the scenes before it attempted to portray and instead it kind of cops out on the ending and goes down the same ole route of crap. Avoid this one boys and girls, it isn't worth your money.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1.5 /5
Plot is simple. a bi-racial couple moves next door to a cop who may or may not be bad. The film itself wouldn't be as bad as it is was it not for the final 10 minutes which throws the entire film under a bus and then pisses upon it.
It's rare for an ending to ruin a film but I felt the ending to this one just takes away everything the film, and the scenes before it attempted to portray and instead it kind of cops out on the ending and goes down the same ole route of crap. Avoid this one boys and girls, it isn't worth your money.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1.5 /5
Saturday, September 20, 2008
The Visitor (limited release)
This was one of those films that had a lot of trailers and then got a limited release. Why tease the market and then never deliver it outside of NY/LA? Either way got my hands on the dvd and it's one of the best films of the year so far.
Much like the other films I've reviewed it seems like if it didn't leave the limited release bracket then it was probably good. It's a shame too because this was a very well done film. The acting is tight and while the plot is simple, it really works.
Everyone is likable and the pacing of the film is smooth. yeah, it doesn't have a lot of substance but it still has a decent story to tell. I'd highly recommend this one.
entertainment value - 4/5
movie - 4.5 / 5
Much like the other films I've reviewed it seems like if it didn't leave the limited release bracket then it was probably good. It's a shame too because this was a very well done film. The acting is tight and while the plot is simple, it really works.
Everyone is likable and the pacing of the film is smooth. yeah, it doesn't have a lot of substance but it still has a decent story to tell. I'd highly recommend this one.
entertainment value - 4/5
movie - 4.5 / 5
Pulse 2: Afterlife (advance bonus review)
Because the original wasn't sucky enough we had to get a direct to video sequel. This one picks up right where the original (as in the remake) left off. Who cares because no one saw the original.
To get the entire idea of this film, watch The Happening, released earlier this year. it feels like a lame ripoff of that mixed with some ghost themes. The ghosts also look like crap (worst I've ever seen).
But hey, people will still buy/rent this despite it being one of the worst horror films to arrive in a number of years. Hey, at least it has boobies... I'll give it half a star for boobies...
entertainment Value - .5/ 5
Movie - .5 / 5
To get the entire idea of this film, watch The Happening, released earlier this year. it feels like a lame ripoff of that mixed with some ghost themes. The ghosts also look like crap (worst I've ever seen).
But hey, people will still buy/rent this despite it being one of the worst horror films to arrive in a number of years. Hey, at least it has boobies... I'll give it half a star for boobies...
entertainment Value - .5/ 5
Movie - .5 / 5
Friday, September 19, 2008
Ghost Town
I love Ricky Gervaise. I've seen him live twice and enjoyed the show both times. I had to go see this and my crappy local theater didn't have it and I had just driven 45 minutes for VCB the day before but dammit I had to see this one.
Comedies this year have mostly been misses but I must say this was the best comedy of 2008 so far. The dialog is funny and delivered as only Gervaise can. He's a likable guy who says and does unlikeable things but lets face it, don't we all want to do or say what this character does?
After dying for 7 minutes and being brought back to life our hero finds that he can see dead people and they want something, mainly one whose wife lives in the same building as him. Problem is he Gervaise's character hates all people, living and dead so it's all about coming out of your comfort zone.
I enjoyed the film a lot. I found it funny (as did the audience, which is rare) and the hooting never seemed to end in the middle of the film. It's hard to imagine someone as average as Gervaise playing a love interest and yet it works because it isn't truly about that in the end.
Entertainment value - 5/5
Movie - 4.5 /5
Comedies this year have mostly been misses but I must say this was the best comedy of 2008 so far. The dialog is funny and delivered as only Gervaise can. He's a likable guy who says and does unlikeable things but lets face it, don't we all want to do or say what this character does?
After dying for 7 minutes and being brought back to life our hero finds that he can see dead people and they want something, mainly one whose wife lives in the same building as him. Problem is he Gervaise's character hates all people, living and dead so it's all about coming out of your comfort zone.
I enjoyed the film a lot. I found it funny (as did the audience, which is rare) and the hooting never seemed to end in the middle of the film. It's hard to imagine someone as average as Gervaise playing a love interest and yet it works because it isn't truly about that in the end.
Entertainment value - 5/5
Movie - 4.5 /5
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
I'm a recent Woody Allen fan. I haven't seen most of his older films but I've enjoyed all of his new ones. This is no exception either as I was hooked after the first two minutes. The first two minutes had me worried and then it all fell into place.
Two female best friends find themselves spending two weeks in Barcelona. One is engaged while the other is a lover of the bad boy. They meet an artist who offers to fly them to a remote island for a weekend and wants some sweet loving. They agree to come along but don't promise sex.
Actually, only Cristina wants to come along and Vicky just joins to keep her friend out of trouble. What many may consider to be predictable turns into something only Allen could pull off.
It's entertainment at it's maximum. The narrative is rich and colorful, bringing the characters to life and it's been a while since I've felt like the main characters in a filma re actually real. You like everyone, including Bardems character who isn't exactly the nicest guy around.
I really enjoyed the film, I think it's one of Allen's best film (that I've seen) and I would highly recommend it. Thus far it's easily in my top 10 of the year.
Entertainment Value - 4.5/ 5
Movie - 5/5
Two female best friends find themselves spending two weeks in Barcelona. One is engaged while the other is a lover of the bad boy. They meet an artist who offers to fly them to a remote island for a weekend and wants some sweet loving. They agree to come along but don't promise sex.
Actually, only Cristina wants to come along and Vicky just joins to keep her friend out of trouble. What many may consider to be predictable turns into something only Allen could pull off.
It's entertainment at it's maximum. The narrative is rich and colorful, bringing the characters to life and it's been a while since I've felt like the main characters in a filma re actually real. You like everyone, including Bardems character who isn't exactly the nicest guy around.
I really enjoyed the film, I think it's one of Allen's best film (that I've seen) and I would highly recommend it. Thus far it's easily in my top 10 of the year.
Entertainment Value - 4.5/ 5
Movie - 5/5
The Family That Preys
It's funny but I watched this five or so days ago and sat here for a few minutes wonder what movie I had seen. I find that Tyler Perry is either hit or miss. Loved his first two films but his later ones were very meh.
I thought the trailer for this looked half way decent. it could be a good movie but as I sat down to watch it the cynic inside me decided to rip it apart. How much from the film is given away in the trailer? Everything but the final five minutes.
I understand that you want to draw the audience to your film but to give everything away is why no one is seeing these films.
Not that there is really a valid reason to be seeing this one because frankly it isn't anything special. It's okay and it actually feels like two films in one. The slutty woman climbing her way to the top and the older white woman finding herself with the black folk.
It may sound racist but any film with a poster of a shadowed persons outline with a white hand choking it might be considered racist anyway. The film has none of that and instead if about a black woman sleeping her way to the top and the problems it causes all around for the families involved. Truth of the matter is that no one cares because we've seen this before.
Three strikes and you're out Mr. Perry. Can you woo me next time or is it game over for you?
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1.5 /5
I thought the trailer for this looked half way decent. it could be a good movie but as I sat down to watch it the cynic inside me decided to rip it apart. How much from the film is given away in the trailer? Everything but the final five minutes.
I understand that you want to draw the audience to your film but to give everything away is why no one is seeing these films.
Not that there is really a valid reason to be seeing this one because frankly it isn't anything special. It's okay and it actually feels like two films in one. The slutty woman climbing her way to the top and the older white woman finding herself with the black folk.
It may sound racist but any film with a poster of a shadowed persons outline with a white hand choking it might be considered racist anyway. The film has none of that and instead if about a black woman sleeping her way to the top and the problems it causes all around for the families involved. Truth of the matter is that no one cares because we've seen this before.
Three strikes and you're out Mr. Perry. Can you woo me next time or is it game over for you?
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1.5 /5
Friday, September 12, 2008
The Women
How do you remake what many consider to be a classic? Well, you really can't and I imagine that is the reason critics have hated this remake of the 1930's film. But before continuing this review, have you seen the original?
If your answer is no and you're a woman than this film might be for you. I won't sit here and say it's a great film, it isn't. It filled with little plot holes and some of the jokes and situations just don't work. Even the ending feels half assed.
Not to say the cast doesn't try, and it's a mighty fine cast. Well, except Jada Pinkett Smith who I swear can't act her way out of a wet paper bag. I can't understand why she's still able to get a job in Hollywood, did anyone see "woo" or "Scream 2". She was some how able to give the worst death sequence in the history of film in Scream 2. She doesn't fair much better in this film (no she doesn't die.
The one thing I liked about The Women is that is stuck with one idea the original had. There is not a single man in the film. Not in the background, nowhere, everywhere is women. It almost works to and that statement is also almost true except for a brief few seconds at the end but I won't ruin it.
The film uses bad plot devices that just aren't needed. One girl is an open lesbian. Hey, that's fine we all love same sex stuff these days but this has no purpose other than Debra Messing's character trying to straighten her out, in the 10 or so minutes each have on screen. Didn't she do that enough on Will & Grace? Oh and the annoying teen beside me in the theater was totally disgusted when two women kissed.
Anyway, The Women can't compare to the original but as a friend said, you can't remake The Women and have the same film that we had in the 30's because it wouldn't work today. It's a subpar comedy which is still pretty good for what we've gotten in the past few months.
Entertainment Value - 2.5/5
Movie - 2.5/5
If your answer is no and you're a woman than this film might be for you. I won't sit here and say it's a great film, it isn't. It filled with little plot holes and some of the jokes and situations just don't work. Even the ending feels half assed.
Not to say the cast doesn't try, and it's a mighty fine cast. Well, except Jada Pinkett Smith who I swear can't act her way out of a wet paper bag. I can't understand why she's still able to get a job in Hollywood, did anyone see "woo" or "Scream 2". She was some how able to give the worst death sequence in the history of film in Scream 2. She doesn't fair much better in this film (no she doesn't die.
The one thing I liked about The Women is that is stuck with one idea the original had. There is not a single man in the film. Not in the background, nowhere, everywhere is women. It almost works to and that statement is also almost true except for a brief few seconds at the end but I won't ruin it.
The film uses bad plot devices that just aren't needed. One girl is an open lesbian. Hey, that's fine we all love same sex stuff these days but this has no purpose other than Debra Messing's character trying to straighten her out, in the 10 or so minutes each have on screen. Didn't she do that enough on Will & Grace? Oh and the annoying teen beside me in the theater was totally disgusted when two women kissed.
Anyway, The Women can't compare to the original but as a friend said, you can't remake The Women and have the same film that we had in the 30's because it wouldn't work today. It's a subpar comedy which is still pretty good for what we've gotten in the past few months.
Entertainment Value - 2.5/5
Movie - 2.5/5
Righteous Kill
Deniro and Pacino in a film together. it's something fans have wanted since their brief appearance together in the film "Heat". It's the perfect draw in and frankly I wanted to see the movie for that fact alone so congrats Hollywood because it worked.
Too bad the film isn't worth seeing. It's such a dry film that I can't imagine why these two actors signed on. The script is laughable at times and the dialog is so cliche and trite that I can't fathom why this was made at all.
If you've seen any cop based thriller ever then you know what to expect from this one ebcause it does nothing new and it's a shame because fans are going to feel betrayed but hey, it's been a very crappy year for films (for the most part), lets just keep the crap flowing.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
Too bad the film isn't worth seeing. It's such a dry film that I can't imagine why these two actors signed on. The script is laughable at times and the dialog is so cliche and trite that I can't fathom why this was made at all.
If you've seen any cop based thriller ever then you know what to expect from this one ebcause it does nothing new and it's a shame because fans are going to feel betrayed but hey, it's been a very crappy year for films (for the most part), lets just keep the crap flowing.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
Thursday, September 11, 2008
RockNRolla (advance review)
Due out in october is this film, the latest from Guy Ritchie. I actually didn't know he directed this but it kind of explains why I didn't like it.
The director is iffy at times and other times it's downright terrible. The ending shot is one of the worst I've seen in a long time. Not only that but constantly we watch the same scene over and over, it was like the film was looping and while I understand why we had to see it over and over, it really just wasn't needed.
The acting is the only thing that I really have no complaint about, everyone gives a solid performance. Even the passing seems off but it really isn't a god awful film. It just isn't very good. I'll have to say this is a film to maybe rent but it isn't exactly worth ever seeing.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
movie - 1.5 /5
The director is iffy at times and other times it's downright terrible. The ending shot is one of the worst I've seen in a long time. Not only that but constantly we watch the same scene over and over, it was like the film was looping and while I understand why we had to see it over and over, it really just wasn't needed.
The acting is the only thing that I really have no complaint about, everyone gives a solid performance. Even the passing seems off but it really isn't a god awful film. It just isn't very good. I'll have to say this is a film to maybe rent but it isn't exactly worth ever seeing.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
movie - 1.5 /5
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Alone in the Dark 2 (advance review - due in 2009 DTV)
Got my hands on this bad boy. I enjoyed the cheese factor of the original but hey I'm a Boll fan. With that being said Mr. Boll is only a producer of this title and it shows.
Any sign of awesomeness from knowing the hero from the games is in this movie should be thrown out the window because now he is Asian!!!! Okay, fine... Maybe it isn't that big of a deal.
An ancient key, a dream serer and other crap floods what one might call a plot but it's nothing. Nothing happens in the movie and it has nowhere to go but down.
Add to the fact that not only is the script god awful but the acting makes it some how worse. Thankfully the film does have some mild atmosphere and the special effects are okay but everything else is some of the worst I've ever seen. Avoid this film when it's finally released.
entertainment value - 0/5
Movie - .5 / 5
Any sign of awesomeness from knowing the hero from the games is in this movie should be thrown out the window because now he is Asian!!!! Okay, fine... Maybe it isn't that big of a deal.
An ancient key, a dream serer and other crap floods what one might call a plot but it's nothing. Nothing happens in the movie and it has nowhere to go but down.
Add to the fact that not only is the script god awful but the acting makes it some how worse. Thankfully the film does have some mild atmosphere and the special effects are okay but everything else is some of the worst I've ever seen. Avoid this film when it's finally released.
entertainment value - 0/5
Movie - .5 / 5
Monday, September 8, 2008
Bangkok Dangerous
This is a remake of the Asian film by the same name. The Pang brothers are awesome. I love their Eye trilogy and while I didn't see the original of this film, I did enjoy The Messengers which was their first American film.
This film is about a hitman who goes to somewhere in Asia and falls for a girl, screws up his job blah blah blah. Nick Cage does a piss poor job, as his norm lately, and the movie as a whole feels like one of the most shallow experiences this year.
I really have nothing good to say of the film, and while it isn't the worst film this year, this fall or ever made it just doesn't need to exist as it does nothing but take up space.
It's a shame too that the Pang bros. just can't strike gold here in the states but really, they should stick to what they do best over there which is make good movies and not fall into the Hollywood trap.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
This film is about a hitman who goes to somewhere in Asia and falls for a girl, screws up his job blah blah blah. Nick Cage does a piss poor job, as his norm lately, and the movie as a whole feels like one of the most shallow experiences this year.
I really have nothing good to say of the film, and while it isn't the worst film this year, this fall or ever made it just doesn't need to exist as it does nothing but take up space.
It's a shame too that the Pang bros. just can't strike gold here in the states but really, they should stick to what they do best over there which is make good movies and not fall into the Hollywood trap.
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
Friday, September 5, 2008
College
This film was suppose to come out in April. Well, that was dumb so they moved it to when college goes back in. Smart move! Too bad the main star is a teen star and it's a R rated film. The target audience is lost and that is why the film flopped.
I'll admit I laughed a few times and maybe it is the best comedy in the past few months but it still isn't very good.
The only amusing part was the glow in the dark poke party but then that makes me wonder why every R comedy must have such a scene. Otherwise we have lots of boobies and we know teen boys love those...
Except this is rated R so besides 5 or so f-bombs and some boobs we get a vehicle for a DOA actor who should just give up. Maybe two flops in 4 months will ruin him.. I can only hope...
I can't recommend this film to anyone. In the past 5 years we have gotten a slew of college films and most are pretty bad, this is yet another and it feels even less inspired than most. Hell, I'd rather rewatch College Road Trip than this...
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
I'll admit I laughed a few times and maybe it is the best comedy in the past few months but it still isn't very good.
The only amusing part was the glow in the dark poke party but then that makes me wonder why every R comedy must have such a scene. Otherwise we have lots of boobies and we know teen boys love those...
Except this is rated R so besides 5 or so f-bombs and some boobs we get a vehicle for a DOA actor who should just give up. Maybe two flops in 4 months will ruin him.. I can only hope...
I can't recommend this film to anyone. In the past 5 years we have gotten a slew of college films and most are pretty bad, this is yet another and it feels even less inspired than most. Hell, I'd rather rewatch College Road Trip than this...
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - 1/5
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
I really enjoyed the original pants film. I liked it enough to go out and buy the four books and loved each for what they were.
I never thought we would get a sequel as the original film flopped and then I was distressed when I heard they were combining three books into one film.
It's actually hit or miss, more miss than I would really prefer but it works well enough. Some sub-plots are dropped or changed. Some happen and end so quickly I had no clue what was happening and due to this the entire final act of the film feels out of place.
Even the acting seems a bit off. i know these girls are good 9see the first film) but they just aren't into it at all. Besides America and the blond chick the rest of the cast is dead right now and blond chick is terrible this time around. Not only that but America walks through her role, the acting in the play is painful and unreal, so much so i couldn't help but question how she even won the role as she comes off as hammy.
I can't say I really enjoyed the film. It's okay for what it is but it loses the heart of the novels and it loses what the original film had going on.
Entertainment Value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2.5 /5
I never thought we would get a sequel as the original film flopped and then I was distressed when I heard they were combining three books into one film.
It's actually hit or miss, more miss than I would really prefer but it works well enough. Some sub-plots are dropped or changed. Some happen and end so quickly I had no clue what was happening and due to this the entire final act of the film feels out of place.
Even the acting seems a bit off. i know these girls are good 9see the first film) but they just aren't into it at all. Besides America and the blond chick the rest of the cast is dead right now and blond chick is terrible this time around. Not only that but America walks through her role, the acting in the play is painful and unreal, so much so i couldn't help but question how she even won the role as she comes off as hammy.
I can't say I really enjoyed the film. It's okay for what it is but it loses the heart of the novels and it loses what the original film had going on.
Entertainment Value - 2.5 /5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Disaster Movie
I sit here trying to watch this film but it some how it's not watchable... It's actually painful and I think for every second it plays a small kitten is swollwed by a rabid monkey.
There is not a single funny moment, not a single redeeming factor to this film. If you thought that one movie was funny from the start of the year (was it Epic Movie? I can't remember).
Either way avoid this shit. it has funny jokes and god aweful musical numbers. The jokes come out of nowhere and just don't work.
Entertainment Value - 0/5
Movie - 0/5
There is not a single funny moment, not a single redeeming factor to this film. If you thought that one movie was funny from the start of the year (was it Epic Movie? I can't remember).
Either way avoid this shit. it has funny jokes and god aweful musical numbers. The jokes come out of nowhere and just don't work.
Entertainment Value - 0/5
Movie - 0/5
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Babylon A. D .
What can a person say about this film? It flopped in the theaters, it's one of the worst reviewed films of the year and the director announced that it was a steaming pile shit days before it came out.
Is it good? No... Worst movie of the year? It's pretty close but I did miss Kit Kittridge thus far so you never know...
Either way the film starts off mildly inetresting and then the entire cast doesn't give a damn, throws acting out of the window. The visuals start off good as well and then go down hill.
It's as if the film was heading towards something cool but went all Battlefield Earth on us, maybe everyone stopped caring after a little while. Either way I can't envision why this hit the theater and didn't go straight to the sci-fi channel.
Please avoid this film in all formats so we can stop getting utter crap. The fact that anyone went and saw it is sad so please tell Hollywood it's not okay to release crap when they know it is crap.
entertainment value - .5 / 5
movie - .5 / 5
Is it good? No... Worst movie of the year? It's pretty close but I did miss Kit Kittridge thus far so you never know...
Either way the film starts off mildly inetresting and then the entire cast doesn't give a damn, throws acting out of the window. The visuals start off good as well and then go down hill.
It's as if the film was heading towards something cool but went all Battlefield Earth on us, maybe everyone stopped caring after a little while. Either way I can't envision why this hit the theater and didn't go straight to the sci-fi channel.
Please avoid this film in all formats so we can stop getting utter crap. The fact that anyone went and saw it is sad so please tell Hollywood it's not okay to release crap when they know it is crap.
entertainment value - .5 / 5
movie - .5 / 5
Monday, September 1, 2008
September Release Dates
Last month was very shitty. This month starts off with a decent amount of films I want to see and actually it feels very crowded. Also, the end of the month looks like utter ass and the best films seem to be limited release. I hope to bring you some of those when I head into NYC to see Katie Holmes and Patrick Wilson in some play so lets hope I do! Oh and in a review last month I asked about the next Tyler Perry film and wow, it's this month and it looks like god hates me for it...
5th - Bangkok Dangerous
12th - The Women
12th - Burn After Reading
12th - The Family that Preys
12th - Righteous Kill
19th - Lakeview Terrace
19th - My Best Friend's Girl
19th - Igor
19th - Ghost Town
26th - Miracle at St. Anna
26th - Eagle Eye
26th - Nights in Rodanthe
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Traitor
What the hell? I never heard of this film, besides being on my list. A co-worker kept going on and on about it and how could I not have seen the bagillion ads for it?
Anyway, it was released, I viewed and now I write. Frankly, it's a run of the mill spy thriller. it tries so hard to keeps the viewer interested but I just didn't care.
No real reason I guess but maybe this theme is over done. We've seen it a few times this year, in different forms mind you. We have some good actors striving for gold and they do a fine job.
No real complaints besides the slight boredom problem. I wouldn't waste my money on a theatrical viewing but a rental might be worth your time.
Entertainment Value - 2.5 / 5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Anyway, it was released, I viewed and now I write. Frankly, it's a run of the mill spy thriller. it tries so hard to keeps the viewer interested but I just didn't care.
No real reason I guess but maybe this theme is over done. We've seen it a few times this year, in different forms mind you. We have some good actors striving for gold and they do a fine job.
No real complaints besides the slight boredom problem. I wouldn't waste my money on a theatrical viewing but a rental might be worth your time.
Entertainment Value - 2.5 / 5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Friday, August 29, 2008
Where in the World is Osama Bin Ladan (Limited Release)
I wanted to see this opening day while i was in NCY but the cloest theater showing it was way too far out of my way so now many months later we have the dvd release and me being able to view the film.
I loved Super Size Me so I really had high hopes for this film. Maybe the marketing was wrong or maybe I was confused but the film has little to do with what one would assume and it's more of a political statement, and about our heroes near born child which during most of the film isn't born yet.
Either way I couldn't help but feel bored. Sure it has some funny bits but nothing amazing. It often goes towards the path of the cheese so even that hinders my view on it a little.
I can't recommend this one at all and that makes me rather sad. I guess it might be worth a viewing if that it's like your favorite genre but I'm giving this a total full fledged pass.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 1.5 /5
I loved Super Size Me so I really had high hopes for this film. Maybe the marketing was wrong or maybe I was confused but the film has little to do with what one would assume and it's more of a political statement, and about our heroes near born child which during most of the film isn't born yet.
Either way I couldn't help but feel bored. Sure it has some funny bits but nothing amazing. It often goes towards the path of the cheese so even that hinders my view on it a little.
I can't recommend this one at all and that makes me rather sad. I guess it might be worth a viewing if that it's like your favorite genre but I'm giving this a total full fledged pass.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 1.5 /5
The Longshots
I don't like sports. Well, hockey amuses me with its violence. otherwise sports bore me to tears and the sappy crap films about them are even worse than watching Tiger Woods swing a stick at a ball for hours and hours.
Ice Cube has mean torturing us with crappy films, so unoirignal one questions how they got green lighted and then this turd comes out. Not only is the title so lame and feels like 1000000 other films but it some how fails to do anything remotely inetresting.
The film isn't funny, it's not cute and cuddly and I'll admit it now but The game Plan was a million times better than this film. It actually feels like they didn't even try. Like they didn't want the film to be anything more than a steaming pile of nothing.
Avoid the film but hey... We all know what demographic this film is geared at... When's the next Tyler Perry film? He let's me down far less than ice Cube...
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - .5/ 5
Ice Cube has mean torturing us with crappy films, so unoirignal one questions how they got green lighted and then this turd comes out. Not only is the title so lame and feels like 1000000 other films but it some how fails to do anything remotely inetresting.
The film isn't funny, it's not cute and cuddly and I'll admit it now but The game Plan was a million times better than this film. It actually feels like they didn't even try. Like they didn't want the film to be anything more than a steaming pile of nothing.
Avoid the film but hey... We all know what demographic this film is geared at... When's the next Tyler Perry film? He let's me down far less than ice Cube...
Entertainment Value - 1/5
Movie - .5/ 5
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Hamlet 2
Hamlet 2 makes me realize a couple things about the people who live in America. First of all, this film is marketed solely for the song Rock me Sexy jesus, yes it's funny, but it sets the whole movie up as the next Juno or Miss Sunshine. The problem is that it's neither of those films.
Hamlet 2 is a spoof of the school movies like Dangerous Minds and the other crap. It really does try to be it's own film and you have to give it credit for that. The problem is that the acting is a little too off the wall bad and I know it's on purpose because I know Coogan is a better actor than this.
It's one thing to be over the top but the film almost fails at it. I was the only person in the theater hooting at half of the stuff in the movie, which I found funny but maybe it's because I'm a movie buff.
The other problem is that I work with people who actually asked me "There's a Hamlet 1?" Really? You so did not just ask me that did you? I personally have never read Hamlet, I saw a film of it but I at least know what it is. Isn't Hamlet a staple of all high schools required reading anyway?
Either way hamlet tries and it does have heart, in the end anyway. Some might be offended by the latio, jew and jesus jokes but you know what, get the fuck over it. You're religion and ethnic background isn't the only thing that is ever made fun of.
I can't give the film a whole hearted recommendation but I enjoyed it for what it was. See it if you want but it might be more suited for a dvd viewing.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Hamlet 2 is a spoof of the school movies like Dangerous Minds and the other crap. It really does try to be it's own film and you have to give it credit for that. The problem is that the acting is a little too off the wall bad and I know it's on purpose because I know Coogan is a better actor than this.
It's one thing to be over the top but the film almost fails at it. I was the only person in the theater hooting at half of the stuff in the movie, which I found funny but maybe it's because I'm a movie buff.
The other problem is that I work with people who actually asked me "There's a Hamlet 1?" Really? You so did not just ask me that did you? I personally have never read Hamlet, I saw a film of it but I at least know what it is. Isn't Hamlet a staple of all high schools required reading anyway?
Either way hamlet tries and it does have heart, in the end anyway. Some might be offended by the latio, jew and jesus jokes but you know what, get the fuck over it. You're religion and ethnic background isn't the only thing that is ever made fun of.
I can't give the film a whole hearted recommendation but I enjoyed it for what it was. See it if you want but it might be more suited for a dvd viewing.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Brideshead Revisted (Limtied Release)
This film came out of nowhere. Saw it was playing and due to me being confused on times it was the only thing playing. I had read up on it the night before so I knew it was about love and religion. I like one and not the other.
Maybe it's the main characters thoughts and beliefs that struck me as my own but this is the first movie this year that screams for an Oscar nom and it's easily the best film of 2008 so far.
The acting is fantastic. The father figures are sarcastic to a fault and it had me laughing with their demeanor. The idea of the film is simple. Our main character wants to be a painter and heads off to school. He meets a man and they visit his home, Brideshead. There he finds out that the family is very Catholic and our guy falsl for his friends sister.
That's as vague as I can be without ruining anything. The plot flows and before I knew it the 2 hour 15 minute run time was over and I was sad to see it end. The ending itself is also very strong with a simple image leaving a lot up to the viewer to decide. Not as much as No Country For Old men so don't worry about being lost (or so my co-workers say about NCFOM).
Either way i highly recommend this film. If it's playing near you then do yourself a favor and check it out. You may not believe in what its saying or what it might say about your religion but it's still an engrossing tale.
Entertainment Value - 4/5
Movie - 5/5
Maybe it's the main characters thoughts and beliefs that struck me as my own but this is the first movie this year that screams for an Oscar nom and it's easily the best film of 2008 so far.
The acting is fantastic. The father figures are sarcastic to a fault and it had me laughing with their demeanor. The idea of the film is simple. Our main character wants to be a painter and heads off to school. He meets a man and they visit his home, Brideshead. There he finds out that the family is very Catholic and our guy falsl for his friends sister.
That's as vague as I can be without ruining anything. The plot flows and before I knew it the 2 hour 15 minute run time was over and I was sad to see it end. The ending itself is also very strong with a simple image leaving a lot up to the viewer to decide. Not as much as No Country For Old men so don't worry about being lost (or so my co-workers say about NCFOM).
Either way i highly recommend this film. If it's playing near you then do yourself a favor and check it out. You may not believe in what its saying or what it might say about your religion but it's still an engrossing tale.
Entertainment Value - 4/5
Movie - 5/5
Swing Vote
I enjoy most Costner films. Hell, The Postman was rather good IMO but one one of a few. This looked like an alright idea. A man is the deciding vote on who becomes president. It shows some funny ideas but the biggest flaws comes from me figuring the ending out right away because it's the only way it can end.
That's not fair though because the film has a lot going on. It's sub-plot feels more like the focus and maybe the intention of the film isn't as clear cut as one would think from it's theme and title.
The acting is good but Costner seems to like the white trash a bit too much and god some of those trailer images haunt me from friends houses during school. All in all I found the film enjoyable and regret not supporting it sooner. If your theater is still playing this then by all means check it out.
Entertainment Value - 3.5 /5
Movie 3.5 /5
That's not fair though because the film has a lot going on. It's sub-plot feels more like the focus and maybe the intention of the film isn't as clear cut as one would think from it's theme and title.
The acting is good but Costner seems to like the white trash a bit too much and god some of those trailer images haunt me from friends houses during school. All in all I found the film enjoyable and regret not supporting it sooner. If your theater is still playing this then by all means check it out.
Entertainment Value - 3.5 /5
Movie 3.5 /5
My Sassy Girl (Bonus Review)
I love the original film. It's a total tear jerker with the cliff scene. I was torn when I heard this was being remade so here we are with it going direct to video, which is never a good thing.
The problem is that this film doesn't work here in the States. Plain and simple truth really. The female lead comes off as apeshit crazy rather than damaged goods. The lead is a total pansy this time, and the acting makes it almost painful.
Gone is the pure charm of the original film and while this one is still moderately funny, it isn't nearly as good as the original source material, yet it copies almost everything.
The original used a fun idea of the female lead writing crazy off the wall stories. in this she re-writes "classic" films. It's amusing but the acting is so bad (on purpose I hope).
I'm torn on even letting my co-worker borrow this as it kind of taints the original and the quirkyness comes off all wrong in this. Fans should avoid it but if the trailer amuses you then check it out and then see the original Korean version.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2/5
The problem is that this film doesn't work here in the States. Plain and simple truth really. The female lead comes off as apeshit crazy rather than damaged goods. The lead is a total pansy this time, and the acting makes it almost painful.
Gone is the pure charm of the original film and while this one is still moderately funny, it isn't nearly as good as the original source material, yet it copies almost everything.
The original used a fun idea of the female lead writing crazy off the wall stories. in this she re-writes "classic" films. It's amusing but the acting is so bad (on purpose I hope).
I'm torn on even letting my co-worker borrow this as it kind of taints the original and the quirkyness comes off all wrong in this. Fans should avoid it but if the trailer amuses you then check it out and then see the original Korean version.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2/5
Monday, August 25, 2008
Death Race
You can't help but love a Statham action flick. Well, I hated Crank but whatever. He's this total English badass and his films almost always have zero plot and tons of slick action.
The problem with Death Race is it attempts a plot and fails at every chance to surprise the viewer. I saw every twist coming and wasn't surprised by anything the film through at me.
What makes it worse is that while the racing is interesting, Speed racer did it much better this year. I was never on the edge of my seat with these races and to be honest there are thee whole races and none are very long.
What started this year with Doomsday, took a light heartened turn in Speed racer and now at a full 360 we have Death Race and it's a steady decline along the way. It's a shame too because this could have been very entertaining but it just msises the mark.
Entertainment value - 2/5
Movie - 2/5
The problem with Death Race is it attempts a plot and fails at every chance to surprise the viewer. I saw every twist coming and wasn't surprised by anything the film through at me.
What makes it worse is that while the racing is interesting, Speed racer did it much better this year. I was never on the edge of my seat with these races and to be honest there are thee whole races and none are very long.
What started this year with Doomsday, took a light heartened turn in Speed racer and now at a full 360 we have Death Race and it's a steady decline along the way. It's a shame too because this could have been very entertaining but it just msises the mark.
Entertainment value - 2/5
Movie - 2/5
Little Mermaid 3: Ariel's Begining (advance bonus review)
I'm a huge Disney fan, some may already know that. However I will agree that most, if not all, straight to video Disney films are crap. The second Ltitle Mermaid film wasn't too bad but come on, the prequels rarely work.
Well, this one is a little hit or miss. I liked hearing Ariel's backstory, while not all that inetresting it does show why Urs is such a bad woman in the first movie and explain s the king's attitude fairly well.
I doubt any animated musical about a mermaid can have songs as good as those in the original and these enw songs feel halfassed through and through. Most are short and while none are ear bleeding, they aren't all that good either and in no way stack up to those in the original.
The films saving grace is the nice animation. It's crisp and clean and all around looks great and for a direct to video film from Disney it's one of the better looking ones. While I won't run out and buy this day one, I will add it to my Disney collection at some point.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Well, this one is a little hit or miss. I liked hearing Ariel's backstory, while not all that inetresting it does show why Urs is such a bad woman in the first movie and explain s the king's attitude fairly well.
I doubt any animated musical about a mermaid can have songs as good as those in the original and these enw songs feel halfassed through and through. Most are short and while none are ear bleeding, they aren't all that good either and in no way stack up to those in the original.
The films saving grace is the nice animation. It's crisp and clean and all around looks great and for a direct to video film from Disney it's one of the better looking ones. While I won't run out and buy this day one, I will add it to my Disney collection at some point.
Entertainment Value - 2/5
Movie - 2.5 /5
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Star Wars: Clone Wars
We all know the prequel trilogy was kind of crappy. Hell, it's some of the worst films to gross that much money. Anyway, this film didn't look good to em at all.
First of all the title alone is too stupid to be enjoyable. When it's four words long and two are the same word you just know you need a better title. The animation also looks piss poor. I never saw the animated tv show of this and I have no clue what kind of connection it has but I doubt it matters.
This is also one of the worst reviewed films of 2008... However I kind of enjoyed it, when I wasn't annoyed by it. Jabba's uncle has the most annoying voice acting, our female lead is by far the most annoying character ever so imagine a film filled with a ton of Jar Jar's. It feels like this film.
The action is pretty fun at times and the movie is short and moves smoothly. All in all it isn't the worst thing I've seen all year but I could have lvied without ever seeing it as well.
entertainment value - 2/5
Movie - 1.5/ 5
First of all the title alone is too stupid to be enjoyable. When it's four words long and two are the same word you just know you need a better title. The animation also looks piss poor. I never saw the animated tv show of this and I have no clue what kind of connection it has but I doubt it matters.
This is also one of the worst reviewed films of 2008... However I kind of enjoyed it, when I wasn't annoyed by it. Jabba's uncle has the most annoying voice acting, our female lead is by far the most annoying character ever so imagine a film filled with a ton of Jar Jar's. It feels like this film.
The action is pretty fun at times and the movie is short and moves smoothly. All in all it isn't the worst thing I've seen all year but I could have lvied without ever seeing it as well.
entertainment value - 2/5
Movie - 1.5/ 5
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