Friday, April 25, 2008

Smart People

Smart People looked like an awesome film. Ellen page is my new goddess and I knew of her before Juno, thank you very much.

Sadly, Smart People is just an annoying film that tries to redeem itself with its ending of happiness and joy while rest of the film was you watching sad and pathetic people attempt to live and the problem that I had was that these people weren't smart (and I'm geuss that is the point in the end) but they were more pretentious than anything else.

The film constantly uses "big words" and other stupid crap to try and make you think these people are smart but instead it alienates most of the viewing audeince. It should come to no surprise that I was the lone person in the theater and there's a reason the film has eben out for weeks and hasn't seen the light of day on the pirate sites.

I have to give this film a pass all around and just say that you should save your money and not see it. it reminds me of the mess that was that Oscar nominated film a few years back about the wine country and other crap. I can't even remember the name which is slightly annoying but I think it started with an "S".

entertainment value - 1/5

Movie - 1/5

Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay

The original Harold and Kumar surprised me by actually being good. So I was very excited for this sequel to come out. The trailers had me worried but let me just say, the film is better than the previews and it only hints at some of the films best content.

Now, I have seen a ton of crappy comedies this year and the main staple in all of them were fart jokes. This film also contains a fart joke and it's pretty damn funny to be honest. A lot of the jokes actually work but to do that it requires you to suspend belief but really, it's a mindless pot flick that is just a hoot to watch and has nudity for both males and females.

The cast returns from the first film and they do a good job keeping the antics entertaining. The film seems shorter and a lot less believable but it worked and it was just a lot of fun to see and the audience added a lot to it. One of the few films I was glad to catch in the theater this year.


enntertainment value - 4.5 / 5

movie - 3.5 /5

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Forbidden Kingdom

Any modern day martial arts fan should be drooling all over for this film. It contaisn some of todays best known actors from the genre and places them in a fightfest of sorts.

The problem is that they just aren't used for what they are best at and the plot itself feels stale so it never feels like the film is trying to be its own thing.

It's not a bad film by any means though. It's fun, has some decent fight scenes but again it has some much going for it and just fails to use it for all its worth. It's a shame to because this could have brought the genre back in the states but instead continues its downward spiral and what's worse is that they released it in April and in comparison to April's other films this is the weakest next to Prom Night.

I'd still recommend this to the genre fans and give it a full rental recommendation. As for seeing it in the theater, I say pass as you most likely won't get your moneys worth from this film. Go see one of the much better films in the theater right now as it's been a shitty year and this has been the best month so far with only one dud and one okay film (this one)

Entertainment Value - 3/5

Movie: ** 1/2 / 5

Monday, April 21, 2008

Prom Night

The original Prom Night use to creep me out for some reason back when it aired on basic tv every couple of weekends. I actually own it on dvd from the bargin bin at Wal*Mart. Hell, I was actually excited about this remake until I saw the PG13 rating.

Following my vow to never see pg13 horror films (J-remakes don't count) in the actual thater I have waited a little while to see this and avoided spoilers.

But that was stupid of me because the only spoilers are who dies. The killer is known from the start, the film starts a story line that it never explains and just jumps into the action.

Let's cover the cliches this film is able to give us.

A) Someone hides under a bed and sees someone die
B) Someone asks outloud " is that you?"
C) Someone trips
D) Someones shoe falls off

After that I kind of tuned the film out as it was annoying me. There is so little violence and gore that it's amazing this film was even released and I honestly can't think of the last pg13 slasher flick. Maybe Darkness Falls which also had zero blood but that was a film the studio butchered for a pg13 rating (if you listen to the dvd commentary anyway).

I really don't know what else to say about this. It isn't scary, it uses false noises to try and create jumps, the acting is pathetic, the killer is known from the get go and there is no blood and gore to even entertain us.

It's funny I say the things about blood, good and violence after seeing Funny Games which is a film that seems 100 times more violent than this but showed no actual violence on screen besides one shot.

Entertainment Value - 1/5

Movie - 1/2 / 5

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Street Kings

I watched Street Kings almost a week ago and I don't feel compelled to say a single thing about the movie. It's your typical police drama but with abd Keanue acting.

It moves at a steady pace and it's all around okay but we've seen this so many times before and the fact that it faisl to do anything is just annoying. Narc this is not and not even the cast can save it and it isn't so bad it's good Point Blank either.

I give this a pass already. You can do much better in the genre and in the theater right now.

Entertainment Value - 1/5

Movie - ** / 5

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

The little comedy team continues to chug along after their success with Knocked Up and Superbad. This film continues the trend of a funny film with likable people.

It's hard to take a slightly annoying weak character and make him likable in his depression. But I think the girl from That 70's Show (Jackie) does a great job and saves the film. Her character is likable beyond that of any I've seen but everyone is likable in their own way. Not only that but the acting is pretty good, except that of Sarah marshal as it seems like she keeps playing a bad actress in a tv show and I'm sure she is capable of more but she seems stuck in a rut and doesn't understand how to do two characters.

The comedy is pure and funny. We have a fair amount of full frontal male nudity and the female nudity is nowhere to be seen for the most part. The story follows a song writer whose girlfriend has left him for a hip rocker from the UK. After months of whining and crying he decided to go to Hawaii for a vacation but soon finds out Sarah is staying in the same hotel.

It's funny throughout the entire thing but the heart also shows through the sometimes vulgar jokes. I highly recommend this film and this month is shaping up to be the best of 2008 outside of perhaps May.

Entertainment Value - 5/5

Movie - **** / 5

Pathology (Limited Release)

I was a few minutes late to this due to the theater having a different name on-line but whatever. This film is about a group of med students. They have a club of sorts. One person is to murder someone that is a bad person and the rest have to figure out how he did it.

It's a sick and twisted game. Throw in kinky sex and lots of nudity (Milano does fullf rontal...) and you have yourself a sick thriller.

I really enjoyed the film. It's set up to shock you and while it does a decent job of it I can't help but feel like the final part of the film feels tacked on, lacks explanation and just sort of comes out of nowhere but it isn't terrible enough to ruin the fil.

Gore fans will eat this film up and it really reminded me of Death Note a bit. I do recommend this film if you're theater is showing it. The acting is solid, we get lesbians, nudity and tongue cutting making out.

Entertainment Value : 4/5

movie - ***/ 5

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Son of Rambow (LIMITED RELEASE) (advance review)

I remember seeing the previews for this film a few months back and I should have figured it's actually kind of old as it is a British film and god forbid we get it at the same time as them.

It's actually a very enjoyable film and any fan of British films should enjoy this one. If you liked Billy Elliot it's kind of along the same mood. The story follows two boys during a summer where Rambo originally came out and they decide to make their own sequel of sorts where the one is the son of Rambow.

The acting is good, the movie looks good and really I have nothing bad to say about the entire film. It may not be for everyone but it's target audience will love it and I do recommend catching it if it is playing in your area.

Entertainment Value - 3/5

Movie - ****/ 5

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Funny Games USA

This is a remake of the original German film. It's the same exact director and frankly it's 99.9% shot for shot the same. Fans of the original may find this one ahrd to watch as it feels like the actors are just reenacting the original film.

For those new to the film I must say you're in for a surprise. Some of you may go in expecting blood and guts and torture porn like you've never seen. Then there are the others who actually looked up information on the film.

There is very little in the way of blood and guts. Yeah, people die but you never see it, except perhaps once. The film has something to say but most viewers won't care because the film is poking fun at them in general...

Confused? Good. While I do recommend this film I can't help but feel like most will hate it because it isn't what they want. Those with an open mind will find a great film. Not a masterpiece by any means but unique and interesting for sure.

And while I make the actors seem to be doing a bad job they actually do a fine job but it's hard to judge it as I have seen the original and movements and tones are almost exact but once the horrible stuff starts to happen the actors come full circle and bring the roles into their own.

Entertainment Value - 2/5

Movie - *** 1/2 / 5

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Nim's Island

I actually had high hopes for this one. gerald Buttler in a fantasy film, what could be more entertaining? Well, perhaps a fun film I guess but that isn't being fair either.

The film revolves around a young girl named Nim who loves this one author, just happens that this author never leaves her house due to ever rising fears. When Nim's father is lost at sea she contacts this adventure writer to help her but while she waits she must defend the island herself.

There's a number of problems her. The author doesn't arrive until the last 20 minutes of the movie, the girl defends the island from... tourists and the ending just comes out of nowhere.

While they seem like big complaints the film is still able to produce an enjoyable movie if you just ry not to think about it. The actors do a fine job but the young girl playing Nim (the one from Little Miss Sunshine) just seems to sleepwalk through her role.

This has been better family films this year and this seems more like a cash in than anything else. It's one of the few times where I've seen a fantasy film and just had no interest in ever reading the book. Still it gets a mild recommendation from me for those looking for something to tide them over to Indiana Jones but again don't expect a lot from it.

Entertainment Value - 3/5

Movie - ** 1/2 / 5

Friday, April 4, 2008

Leatherheads

If George Clooney took a 2 hour shit, I'd watch it. Seriously, he's in my top 3 actors of all time and I try to see everything he does. When he writes and directs a film then I just know I have to see the film.

Well, this is by far the best comedy of 2008 so far and it does not have a fart, burp, poop or pee joke. What a surprise. Actually, the film is refreshing but be warned, your audience will be using walkers.

But that is okay because I haven't laughed this much since Over Her Dead Body which in retrospect wasn't all that funny (and it contained fart jokes). The film uses a slapstick approach and it just works and it's a refreshing take than the crap we have been given lately.

The entire cast does a great job and while I'm not a Zellwigger fan she brings a lot of life to the film. I was actually expecting a lot more football but the film seems a little light on that and worries more about its characters.

The film also has a satisfying ending and pretty much ties up everything with no real plot holes. I highly recommend this film to anyone whose a fan of the cast or just looking to enjoy a 2 hour comedy which doesn't feel that long.

Entertainment Value - 4/5

Movie - ****/5

The Ruins

A little over a year ago I read the novel "The Ruins". Not much later did the film get green lighted and went into production. The novel was dark and entertaining and I was ecstatic about the film.

Well, I've seen it and I must say it was worth the wait. For me anyway. You're going to either love this horror film or hate it. The ending felt rushed and I'm not sure if it was exactly like the novel which I will now have to re-read.

However, if you can look past that minor flaw you'll witness the best horror film since The Descent and they both have a common theme. Despair is the theme of this film. Five tourists go to a Mayan ruin off the beaten path only to be trapped there by some natives due to something within the ruins.

I'm being vague but if you've seen the previews then you know what is about to happen. The cast does an excellent job of provoking paranoia and dread. The finale (excluding the last 4 minuets or so) is sickening and intense.

Gore hounds will love the effects and finally this film has a few actual jump moments and you know it's good when the guy behind you curse for his own jumping. Horror fans owe it to themselves to see this film and it does the novel a great justice which I can't say often.

Entertainment Value - 5/5

Movie - **** 1/2 / 5

Stop Loss

This entire time I have reviewed movies in the order I saw them. I saw this after my next two reviews but I couldn't taint them by following them with this piece of shit.

I have seen pretty much every major theatrical release in the past 8 years. Not always in the theater but whatever. There has only been one instance of me walking out of a movie and I can't even remember what movie it was but I doubt I paid for it and if I did I must have gone to a different movie, thus my reason for forgetting it.

Well, I walked out of Stop Loss after its first hour. I have no clue how long the film is and frankly I don't give a damn. It's a waste of film, it's a terrible piece of shit that should have never been made.

You think Meet the Spartans sucked? Then you must realize this film is worse. I can not fathom why this was green lighted, why anyone wrote it, why anyone thought it would be a good idea to be in it and god damn does the director not realize he should stick to doing shitty videos for MTV (a name drop due to them releasing this piece of shit).

This film is such shit it doesn't even deserve an official rating.

Movie - 0/5

Thursday, April 3, 2008

21

Which such an original and thought provoking title one would say this was sure to be a masterpeice in the making. Actually the preview sums up the entire story in a nut shell minus the last 20 or so minutes but anyone could figure it all out.

Not that it's a bad movie mind you. It's actually some what decent if you're into these type of dramas but it's far from amazing or even all that interesting.

It does nothing to really insult the viewer and the performers give rather good performances. Seriously, have we ever seen Spacey do a poor performance? No but we've seen him do over the top in person but this is a fairly mellow role for me and a return to some what semi-evil roles he first started out doing.

I really don't know what else to say. it's a somewhat interesting story I'm sure most people have heard before and besides the acting it doesn't have much else going on. Maybe worth a rental but no theatrical viewing.

Entertainment Value - 2/5

Movie - ** 1/2 / 5

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Superhero Movie

Like so many spoofs before it, Superhero Movie fails to do anything right. Gone are the days of Airplane and Naked Gun. We're even lucky to get a half way decent spoof with the Scary Movie films but lately we've been served shit like Meet the Spartans and Date Movie.

While this one doesn't falling into the utter garbage category of Date movie or the other ecent titles, it fails to do anything all that good.

The witty jokes aren't here, the dialog is almost painful and the cool in jokes fall flat. The two girls and a cup thing wasn't funny, was handled in such a dumb way I couldn't really understand why they even bothered having it in there.

I think I only laughed once and it was due to a Tom Cruise joke. Yes, we still haven't stopped laughing at Cruise...

I can't think of anything else to say. It wasn't funny but it at least had a plot of some sort that didn't feel like one joke after another. Still the bottom of the barrel but oh well. Oh and the film has a fart joke! Yay fart jokes!!!!

Entertainment Value - 1/2 / 5

Movie - 1/2 / 5

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

88 Minutes (advance review)



88 Minutes is a film I saw nothing on but while waiting in line for popcorn during the Hanna Montana madness (I was seeing The Eye) I saw the poster on the wall and thought it seemed interesting.

The premise of the film is simple. Al Pacino plays a psychologist who gets a phone call that says he will die in 88 minutes. So now he needs to connect the dots and figure out who this mad person is.

The film runs into a number of problems along the way. It constantly throws red herrings your way but it's resolved within minutes so it seems more like a time filler than anything else.

The movie also has actor problems. Not talent wise but without giving anything away you can't have a sort of well known person in a film for 5 seconds without some one in the world noticing...

To be frank about it all I was actually interested in what was happening until about the final third of the film. The big climax was more of a stutter and just did nothing for me. The twists while sort of creative I guess just don't do anything interesting.

The actors kind of feel like they are making their rounds and just want a pay check. I should have known something was wrong with this movie when it was released everywhere in the world in early 2007 and doesn't hit theaters in the USA until April 18th and this review is being posted on February 3rd.... So this will be dated for it's release date but I'm posting it now. Just don't get your hopes up.

Entertainment Value - ** 1/2 / 5

Movie - **/ 5

April Release Dates

April looks to be a very good month for me and I really need it to be a good month too...

Leatherheads - 4th
Nim's Island - 4th
The Ruins - 4th
Street Kings - 11th
Smart People - 11th
Prom Night - 11th
88 Minutes - 18th
Forbidden Kingdom - 18th
Forgetting Sarah Marshall - 18th
Pathology - 18th
Harold & Kumar 2 - 25th
Deception - 25th
Baby mama - 25th