All The Boys Love Mandy Lane (Advance Review)

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane was a film due for release well over a year ago but the Einstein company shelved it and are releasing it this May into theaters. Oh joy!

Thankfully I've suffered for you and have now watched the first film of 2008 so far. I could sit here and tell you it was interesting, well acted and had a very deep script.

But it doesn't have any of those things. The characters suck and are too stereotypical for their own good. The plot is dumb as it's about a once average girl becoming hot one summer and going with a bunch of cool hip teens to a ranch for a weekend. Sex and other shit happens and people start to die.

Then the ending came and I was confused, the filming for this title is atrosiouc and didn't help my understanding of the convoluted plot twists and other shit they try to throw at you.

Just a god awful film. Save your money and pretend you never heard of this piece of shit. Hell, now that I think about it the god damn title doesn't even make sense for this film.

Entertainment Value - 1/2 / 5

Movie - 1/2 / 5

U2 3D Concert (Bonus Review)

I love U2. I wouldn't say I worship them but I do buy all of their cds and when I heard about this 3D concert I had to run out and see it and for once I was able to drag someone along.

No plot here, just a concert filmed in Bores Aires. It's 80 minutes of U2 awesomeness. It won't make you think, Bono shoves his politics down your throat and you'll love every moment of it.

The 3D won't amaze you but my female companion squealed with joy when Bono's hand came out to her and he sang just to her... Or so she claims...

Either way any U2 fan should make time to see this concert because I doubt you'll get another chance to see it in 3D.

Entertainment Value - 4/5

Movie - ****/ 5

My Oscar 2008 Predictions

With the Oscars just a few hours away and me heading to a party I figured I'd better get this bad boy up. It's a mix of what and who I think should win and what I hope wins. I'm usually 50% or more correct all around.

Best Picture: Atonement

Best Lead Actor - Daniel Day Lewis - There Will Be Blood

Best Lead Actress - Ellen page - Juno

Best Supporting Actor - Javier Bardem - No Country For Old Men

Best Supporting Actress - Saoirse Ronan - Atonement

Best Director - Coen brothers - No Country For Old Men

Best original Screen Play - Lars & The Real Girl

Best Previous Screen Play - Atonement

Cinematography - Scaphandre et le papillon, Le

Editing - No Country For Old Men

Art Direction - Sweeney Todd

Costume Design - Atonement

Make Up - Pirates 3

Original Score - Atonement

Original Song - Falling Slowly - Once

Sound - Transformers

Sound Editing - There Will Be Blood

Visual Effects - Transformers

Animated Film - Persepolis

Foreign Film - 12

Documentary - Sicko

Documentary short - Corona, La

Animated Short - I Met The Walrus

Live Action Short - The Tonto Woman

Vantage Point

Vantage Point was going to be my February savior. It was to make it all worth while. The terrible films given a meaning by the one truly awesome film for the month.

Okay, maybe I put too much faith into the film but it's kind of a let down but not in ways one would expect.

Tons of action? CHECK. Good acting? CHECK Lots of twists and turns? CHECK

So what's the problem? Well imagine watching the same 8 minutes over and over (or better yet, view the trailer for those 8 minutes smudged together) and then imagine the finale which is about twenty minutes.

Sure each persons 8 minutes is different but with common moments. The problem is that it feels a bit too disjointed and a bit too gimmicky to really work the magic one would hope for.

In case you haven't seen the bazillion trailers in the past 5 months then this film is about 8 points of view when the president is shot.

It's a cool idea but I can't help but feel a bit cheated out of it all. Yes we are getting a cohesive plot but again the gimmick wears thin and by the third or fourth person I was tired of it and just didn't care.

However I can't help but say this would make an excellent rental. It's worth a single viewing but I doubt I'll look back at the end of the year and say this was one of the best films of the year for it's genre. I'll most likely forget all about it as it just doesn't do it correctly, but it's close.

Entertainment Value - 3/5

Movie - *** / 5

Be Kind Rewind (advance review)

This film actually caught my eye after I viewed the trailer. it looked funny and the plot seemed good. So when I had the chance to see this a whole day before release I jumped on it.

Sadly it let me down like so many other films released so far in this lackluster year. The premise is a good one. Some guys work at a video store, one gets magnetized and erases all of the VHA tapes in the store. So they end up making their own 10 minute versions of the films and showing them.

I won't go on with the plot but it tends to bring up a few sub plots here and there and then never deal with them. Instead we get a rehash of the trailer and the funny bits from the trailer are still funny but nothing else in the film is.

It's a rather dry movie and maybe I was just expecting a lot more from the guy who brought us "Science of Sleep". The performances are half way decent but nothing Earth shattering and the films biggest problem is that if you don't know films like Robocop and Driving Miss Daisy than the humor may also fall on deaf ears.

It's not for everyone but it still stays with the theme of mediocrity that this years comedies have started. Maybe we'll get a good comedy at some point but right now I'd rather be doing something else.

Entertainment Value - 2/5

Movie - * 1/2 / 5

Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour (Bonus Review)

I'm not a Hannah Montana fan. To be honest I've seen 2 minutes of an episode of the tv show and hated it. I do however find the song "GNO" to eb highly entertaining.

I actually felt guilty for not viewing this in the theater as some are calling it a movie. Well I broke down and paid the horrid $15 to watch a 76 minute concert/documentary.

A few things stick out for me during the viewing of this. The 3D is only used in a limited capacity and if it hits dvd then I doubt much will be lost in the translation to a normal viewing.

Second the songs were rather catchy but I did enjoy the Jonas Brothers songs more than the girl's songs.

However a few other things came to mind. If Miley really writes these songs then more power to her but sometimes I doubt it. Not only that but why does Miley dress like a whore and Hannah dresses like a normal girl. We even get panty shots near the end of the concert of Miley.

But let's ignore that. girl will love this concerts and guys will feel castrated. But I had a few problems with it as a whole though. See, the sound is rather terrible for this concert. The first 2 or 3 songs have such strong bass and instruments that the lyrics can be barely heard. A minor flaw but when I'm wishing for subtitles you know it's bad.

Secondly I have to say that Kenny Ortega wil soon rule the world. This man is a genius when it comes to knowing simple, cheesy and fun moves to get kids attention. Sure it isn't as good as say Step Up 2's dance moves but this is the same guy who brought us High School Musical 1 and 2 and while laughably cheesy the moves are entertaining. For an overweight gay man he sure can move in the practices...

Anyway, it isn't worth the theatrical price but if it hits dvd then check it out, your daughters, wife or phedo husband may really enjoy it.

Entertainment Value - 3/5

Movie - *** 1/2 / 5

Step Up 2 The Streets

To be honest I have no real recollection of seeing the original Step Up but I know I did as it's not on my too see list and it came out when I worked at a rental store.

So the question is, will I remember Step Up 2? Well, hell no. It's a rather forgettable hip-hop dance film and it sticks with the typical garbage we get fed every week this year so far.

However we get some awesome dialog like "This isn't High School Musical". Erm... Yeah....

The dance moves are fairly entertaining though so that's a plus. The story is the typical token white chick in a black suburb who needs to lie about x and x and gets into dancing and blah blah blah. This crap is tiresome.

Okay, so here's how you know if this movie is for you. Do you like teen dance films? If the answer is yes then by all means run out and witness this masterpiece that I'm sure it will be in your eyes. If your answer was no then by all means skip this run of the mill film.

It's nothing new. It's nothing special and it does absolutely nothing interesting but I can't deny the dance moves were some what entertaining.

Entertainment Value - 2/5

Movie - * 1/2 / 5

Penelope (advance review)

A curse was set upon a family and their first born child would be born as a half pig half human. I know, it sounds lame but think of a chick with pig ears and a nose. Or at least I'm guessing she has pig ears but her hair covers them. Anyway, to break the curse she has to be some upper blood to marry her for who she is. Problem is boys go running.

This film premiered in 2006 at a Canadian film festival. It's now 2008 and it's just about to hit theaters here in the good ole U.S. of A. Should we be worried or is this another Charlie Bartlett?

Well, if you're a teenage girl then this film just might be for you. It's a coming of age tale about accepting you and other for who or what they are. looks aren't everything blah blah blah.

I actually enjoyed it and it's mostly due to the performances by Christina Ricci and Mcavoy (before he did Atonement...). Both bring life to the life.

Continuing the 2008 trend we see a lot of the film in the theater but this time it feels like that most of the beginning of the film was missing from the trailers and pretty much the entire ending is there. Not really a big deal.

The film isn't exactly funny or heartwarming either but it has a good message, solid performances and a fun if not cliched plot. I give this a moderate recommendation to all female teens. Otherwise you may want to pass.

Entertainment Value - 2.5/5

Movie - ** 1/2 / 5

Jumper

When I saw the trailer for Jumper I was exciting. The idea is pretty cool. A guy finds out he can jump anywhere. It could lead to some cool shit going down.

As more trailers were released we found out he was breaking some code and that someone was trying to stop him. Great I thought, now we will have some awesome jumping combat.

I was actually excited because done right mindless action can be awesome (See Shoot'em Up for proof of this awesomeness).

Well, sorry to break it to you but this movie isn't very exciting at all. The dialog is rough around the edges and the one liners fail everytime. The actors obviously have trouble even saying some of the crap they are being told to say.

Not only that but with a run time of 1 hour and 11 minutes yo really can't expect a whole lot from a film. It does a lot in that time but it also provides too many plot holes along the way. See, the film has two bad ass fight scenes at the end of the film. Both running about 3 minutes each. What accured to me though is that if a person is jumping, how does someone automaticle know where the other person jmped. Can they jump to people and not just palces? That seems even more absurd than the whole idea of jumping.

What is nice though is that we get to see Jamie Bell in something after most of his recent suff was so British it never hit the states. The lad who was Billy Elliot has grown up and despite the crappy script he's a fairly good actor but really, is there such a thing as a bad British actor?

Entertainment Value - 2.5 / 5

Movie - **/ 5

Definitely, Maybe

I actually really wanted to see Definitely, Maybe. I enjoy Ryan Reynolds and Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine) which was a added bonus. Plus I'm a sucker for a story like this.

The plot is simple enough. His daughter wants to know who her mother is so Will decides to tell her about 3 different woman he met, fell in love with and proposed to. But which is the girls mother? Well, I can't tell you because then it would ruin the entire movie.

Problem is, it's told in such a dry manner that it's a bore. For a rom com I expect to laugh and I didn't, not once. It just wasn't funny and I'm not sure if it was even trying to be. The woman aren't even interesting and the plot development is slow and dull.

I'm out of words for this film because it's just so meh. You could do much better for a rom com, but this is perhaps the worst of the year so far and that sucks because I really wanted to see it.

Entertainment Value - 1.5/ 5

Movie - * 1/5 / 5

The Spiderwick Chronicles

While I have read all 5 novels plus the first sequel novel I must admit I'm not a big fan of the books. I like their idea but the cost is too much for so little content but this movie looked great to me. I love fantasy films though so this might be a little biased.

Jared, his twin brother and their sister Malory move into an old Gothic Victorian house after their parents split up. Their mother solves everything by yelling. Jared loves his father more and wants to live with him but his brother and sister are on his mothers side for some reason.

Jared acts like Harry Potter did in the 5th novel. A very angsty child and he has a damn good reason to and it feels realistic this way and it isn't as painful as the Potter moments in the 5th book (thank god the 5th potter film toned it down.

Well anyway, Jared stumbles upon a book called Arther Spiderwicks Guide to the something or other. Anyway, he opens the book and now the goblin lord Margarth wants it so he can rid the world of all the other fantastical creatures.

Jared and his twin are played by Freddie Highmore (Finding Neverland, Charlie & The Chocolate Factory) and while I like him as a child star I have to say this role was beyond what he can do right now. By playing polar opposite characters he strives to be different via facial expressions as well and it brings it just a little over the top in the earlier scenes but once Jared calms down some it becoems a lot smoother.

Rest of the cast does a fine job and Martin Short and Seth Rogen provide voices for Thimbletack and Hogsqueel. Both bringing some amusing lines to an otherwise grim tale.

Fans be warned though because this is all 5 novels (about 600 pages total) combined into 98 minutes. It follows the beginning of the story rather well with a few add ins for the changes later but a lot has been altered and removed. The elves no longer exist so that entire plot point is altered, the doppleganger has been removed and the entire final novel has been changed.

But that's the strong point for the film. It makes more sense this way as the characters are forced to stay within the house so there is no fencing tournament like in the third book. The ending also feels more fun and has a really good climax for once.

Spiderwick won't please everyone but I was entertained by it. The visuals are great, the plot is pretty good and it's just a lot fun which is all that matters. parents should know the films features an almost S word which felt out of place for some reason.

Entertainment Value - ****/5

Movie: **** / 5

Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins

I actually watched this film a few days ago but I just couldn't bring myself to review it. Want the low down? Read my First Sunday review and you pretty much have the same idea here.

Roscoe Jenkins is a super duper famous person but he's heading home with his witch of a girlfriend and his son to a family reunion of sorts. haven't we been here before? Wasn't it two years ago when we got Madea's Family Reunion?

Imagine that film but with super smart comedy like fart jokes and men falling onto logs. Yes, isn't that funny? Well, if this was a kids movie then I'd let it pass. Hell I still pop in the animated film "Flushed Away" just to watch the poor mouse get hit in the nads about 6 times in a row and laugh my ass off.

However, this is a more ugh "mature" comedy and not geared exactly like kids so the toilet humor just shouldn't be here. Not only that but the music is so typical and cliched that I almost couldn't bare it.

To add more salt to this open bleeding wound we have a run time that's close to the 2 hour mark. 2 hours and no laughs later I was ready to quit my challenge. How can we possibly keep getting all of these wretched films one after another.

At least this week looks better with Jumper and Spiderwick (and yet me get Step Up 2 as well....)

Entertainment Value - 1/2 / 5

Movie - */ 5

Charlie Bartlett (ADVANCE REVIEW)

A well off teen gets kicked out of school for selling fake ID's. He doesn't fit in at his new school but when he finds out that psychiatrists will give him prescriptions for a multitude of different "issues" he then sees a bigger business idea and sells them at school.

Charlie Bartlett is a dark comedy but it's also a coming of age tale. Think Juno, the male version minus the whole baby thing. It's a concept that has been tried before but I personally have never cared for it.

What we get here though is something that is smart and honest to god it's refreshing as well. The lead, Anton Yelchin, pulls off an amazing role and his energy just shines right through in this film (think of what Broderick brought to Ferris Bueller's Day Off) and while we never get raunchy the film just true to itself. I don't know what more you could ask for and really the energy from this kid is shocking.

I'm not a man of many words and I really don't know what else to say. Robert Downey Jr. delivers a great performance but so does the entire cast. The directing is solid, nothing seems like it doesn't belong and the movie flows. I was also hooked on this bad boy almost immediately and couldn't wait to see what would happen next.

When a film is released all over the world and a year passes before it hits the states I tend to get worried but I can honestly say that this is the best movie of 2008 so far and one that I highly recommend everyone check out.

Entertainment Value: 4/5

Movie: /5

Fool's Gold

Fools Gold is the latest Rom Com starring Matthew and Kate. We last saw them in How To lose a Guy in 10 Days which was rather mediocre. Thankfully the director of Hitch has taken it upon himself to bring the two back together for this Rom Com.

Frankly I thought the trailer was funny but maybe it was because of the whole midget joke and my utter fear of midgets (which if you are one, I mean no offense to you but you creep me out).

The story is about a soon to be divorced couple who both need money. He's a treasure hunter and she just wants to go back to school. Highjinks prevail and we get a very watered down plot and while the trailer showed most of the film, a simple plot point was skipped and that was that Kate's character had the enter meeting planned and was "acting" during the food scene (as seen in previews). This makes her character instantly unlikeable to me.

I would like to say the film was hysterical and full of action but all you get in this flick is what you saw in the previews. It fails to deliver anything else and while it isn't offensive it's a rather boring film that runs just a little too long.

Entertainment value: **/5

Movie: **/5

Over Her Dead Body

The previews for Over Her Dead Body make me laugh. Not once but a lot. I don't know what it is about it but it's funny to me. To be fair though i haven't seen all of the other rom coms that deal with ghosts and stuff (unless you count Ghost which i have a true hatred of for unimportant reasons).

Anyway, Henry is having trouble dealing with the death of his wife to be who was crushed by an ice angel statue on their wedding day. His sister gives the dead fiancee's diary to a so called psychic and asks her to lie. So she does and ends up falling for Henry. Too bad the dead fiancee has come back as a ghost and haunts her lying ass.

It was actually a really funny movie. I laughed a lot and I love to laugh but lets face it, the comedies of 2008 so far have sucked. This isn't a smart comedy, it even has a long fart joke but dammit I just laughed and I may or may not have snorted during the farting scene, I'll never admit to either.

The cast is actually likable. Lake Bell plays the woman who is a liar and I thought the entire film that she was Debra Messing but she does a good job. Paul Rudd is someone I just find to be hysterical 95% of the time in anything he does so it's a welcome treat to have him star in a film for once. Then we have Eva Longoria who I don't like but she is just bitchy enough but it never gets annoying as some of her moments are actually very funny.

Not all is perfect though. Besides an odd twist near the end the film has a terrible final act. The dialog becomes atrocious and the acting plummets into crap territory. It actually becomes painful to watch because they just seem to be hating it.

So while not original and totally a chick flick rom com I must say I have to give this a mild recommendation. The perfect date movie and with a short run time of one hour and 17 minutes you won't have to suffer too long if you're the guy and hey, maybe you'll laugh like I did.

Entertainment Value - *** 1/2 / 5

Movie - 1/2 / 5

Cassandra's Dream (Bonus Review)

I won't sit here and lie to you and say I'm a big Woody Allen fan. I've only seen his more recent stuff and Annie Hall but I've liked all of his movies except one. That is until now of course because I just suffered through a hour and 45 minutes of boredom with Cassandra's Dream.

The film follows two brothers who all have their own quirks and problems. Be it women, gambling, money or all three. It really doesn't matter but they end up getting into all kinds of trouble and stumble through life like that. And that is why you're watching this.

Colin Farrel can't act to save his life (for proof please see Alexander, wait please don't do that because they may find you tomorrow in the closet with a noose around your neck). I can't entirely blame this sob for this though because the script itself is rather weak and Allen's witty dialog is nowhere to be seen in this film.

You know your movie sucks when you're a well known director with a decent cast and your movie only hits New York and L.A. I'd say pass on this bad boy in all formats.

Entertainment Value - 1/2 / 5

Movie - / 5

Strange Wilderness

I actually thought the trailer for this didn't look all that good but Steve Zahn is one of my favorites, this has a good cast and it involves a hunt for Bigfoot so how could I not check it out.

To be honest the film heavily reminds me of spoofs like Meet the Spartans and Date Movie. It's full of jokes and they just seem like a random mess. A lot of dues ex machina is used to move the plot along and it's really annoying.

For instance the team runs out of money, have no way of making it to the woods and yet due to someone getting a ugh problem from a turkey whose worth 5k they then get money. It's just stupid stuff like that.

Plot is rather simple as well. Their tv show is destined to be canceled so they head out to find Bigfoot which they believe a man is selling a map to it's lair. It becomes rather random at times with shark attacks, cannibals and piranhas.

It's a shame that so much talent is wasted on this movie but let me tell you what the target audience is. Everyone I've talked to that actually wants to see this find the shark part of the trailer hysterical. I found it lame. However in the film it keeps looping about 5 times and I felt like I had to laugh (which I did).

Actually I laughed a lot in the film but I'm not going to sit here and tell you it's worth your money. The film is so stupid that it's funny. I would have much rather seen this at home than have wasted my time with it in the theater.

This also continues a trend this eyar of short films. This one is barely 80 minutes long and it's release partner, Over Her Dead Body is even shorter than that. I must also say that this film is further proof of why I'm glad the writers are on strike because I'm sick of shit like this being released.

But still I laughed so I can't say to completely avoid it but I say pass on a theatrical experience and see it at home while drunk or something because that might make the film make some sort of sense.

Entertainment Vlue - ** 1/2/ 5

Movie - 1/2 / 5

The Eye

I'm a huge fan of The Eye trilogy which is a set of Chinese films done by the Pang brothers (whose first American film was The Messengers). Sadly they don't direct this movie but judging by the trailer this film would maintain a close relationship with one of my favorite Asian horror flicks.

Well, the film started off badly for me. It had some random scare scene in the beginning and then we are introduced to Jessica Albas character. I must admit I'm not a fan of her but she plays the role of a blind girl rather well and in the later portions I really believed her so kudos to Alba for doing a grand job with this role.

The film is about a girl who has been blind since the age of 5 and she gets an eye transplant. She starts seeing horrifying images and she questions her own sanity. Is it all real or is she delusional?

Well, the film stays fairly close to the original but a few things were changed. The meat counter has been replaced which is a shame and the ending while loosely based on the original does have a few changes as well which I didn't find as effective as the original.

I had planned on rewatching the original being seeing this but I just didn't have the time. Needless to say I enjoyed this remake, it doesn't ruin the original film like say Pulse. I also must admit that the film features some rather creepy scenes and while my favorite scene isn't as chilling in this remake I must admit I was creeped out a few times but ghost stories do that to me.

Entertainment Value - *** 1/2 / 5

Movie - / 5

February release schedule

This seems like a busy month and I'm having enough trouble keeping up with the January titles but alas here is the list. Maybe some of these will get bumped further into the year....

The Eye - 1st
Over Her Dead Body - 1st
Strange Wilderness - 1st
Fool's Gold - 8th
Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins - 8th
Definitely, Maybe - 14th
Jumper - 14th
Spiderwick Chronicles - 14th
Step Up 2 The Streets - 14th
Charlie Bartlett - 22nd
Vantage Point - 22nd
Be Kind Rewind - 22nd
Witless Protection - 22nd
The Other Boleyn Girl - 29th
Semi-Pro - 29th
Penelope - 29th